Tartaglia x Andrew Tate

Big Whale

Author's note: Here is some more Tate x Tart content for you lovely readers. (rip to our editor)

"Wha- what?" Andrew stutters, "OH MY GOODNESS DID YOU CATCH THE LGDEQ= VIRUS FROM THAT BUNNY LADY?!?!?!"

"No way." Coy replies, "I wouldn't get into a 6-foot radius of a WOMAN willingly." Coy and Tartagila glance at each other, making romantic eye contact, before looking back over at Andrew.

"But how are you gonna pass your ALPHA blood down your ALPHA bloodline?!" Andrew gasped. Andrew was not only confused with how this TOP G got the... gay virus, but also frustrated with the thought that HE MIGHT HAVE IT TOO.

"Anyways 'top g's' I'm gonna head back to my room at the Northland Bank, Coy, I'll make you something to eat ;)."

"WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA.... that's ... that's..." Andrew struggles to find the right word for around three minutes, "GAY!!!!" Tart and Coy have already left, but Tate just sat in shock for like 5 minutes and didn't even notice they'd left.

Tate contemplates his feelings for Tart. He feels jealous that The New CNN10 Host is in love with Tart, but he also knows that being -gag- GAY is an Alpha SIN. Tart walks alone with a distressed feeling in his gut. Alpha's shouldn't feel this way but... he just can't control himself... that STUPID female... giving him the LCTBO- disease...

Tate keeps walking until he gets to a large hole in the ground. He sees a mysterious lady in blue with short hair. He walks up behind her. She's wearing a short furry jacket and has kind of an ugly haircut. Andrew knows that this is a hot babe, but for some reason he doesn't feel the same attraction that he does to Tartaglia. Regardless, Tate pulls out his book titled "Top 10 ways for Alphas to hit on Kitchen Workers". "Hey girlypop, are you a Bugatti, because I want to waste my money on you" Tate says as he lip bites.

She turns around angrily "Do you know who I am? I am Yelan, I work for the Liyue Ministry of Civil Affairs! If you continue, I'm gonna push you into the Chasm."

Andrew takes a step back in surprise, he can't believe anyone would talk to him that way. He instinctively steps forward to yell back, but then he realizes he doesn't feel angry but... something else... something... worse... his eyes fill with water and he realizes he's... he's crying... CRYING IS BETA. Andrew Tate has never EVER cried even when he was born from some WOMAN.

Tate combs his luxurious, non-existent hair to cover his shame in front of this female as he runs-off to an unknown land. Tate isn't sure of how long he has run for but when he finally stops he is in a lush, green forest and he sees two men sitting in the forest playing a card game while enjoying a meal.

"Thank god... finally some relatable MEN... are you guys also professional poker players?" Andrew says in between breaths. One of them almost seems to have ears and a tail and the other is a man wearing a hat that seems to resemble a wolf... like an ALPHA.

Andrew has found the TOPPEST G, anyways the man places his cards down and says, "Oh, we aren't playing 'poker' we are playing Genius Invokation TCG.", the man grabs a card that looks eerily similar to the man next to him, "This is one of my favorite cards, this card gets me out of a lot of TIES... hehe... like Tighnari... get it... TIE-nari... hehe..."

The other man blushes and turns away. Tate doesn't understand what they're playing, but it sounded similar to what his bestie, Logan Paul played.

The man with the fox ears turns back to Andrew and says, "Hey, I don't think I recognize you. Are you new here?" Tate tells them the story of how he was in Liyue with his Top G bro, Childe and then he ran into a very rude female and then walked until he got there. "Ah so you're from around Liyue? I'll show you around here."

As the man stands up he says "I'll see you later Cyno, how about you come over for dinner with Collei and me?"

"Of course Tighnari, good meeting you traveler" Tighnari kisses Cyno and turns to Tate.

Andrew watches in shock, "IS EVERYONE HERE AFFECTED WITH THE LBHJQ- DISEASE?!" Andrew spits at the men before running back to Liyue wallowing about how he dearly misses his orange bugatti.

As Tate reaches Liyue he stares into a nearby pond and wonders... is he a man, or is he an Alpha?

Tate gets an idea, Coy, the most Top G man he's met here, can turn him back into the female-hating, homophobic Alpha he was MEANT to be. He will no longer be made to feel inferior to these WOMEN AND GAYS.

Tate bursts into Northland bank and sees Tart and Coy preparing for something. "Ah, Andrew, you're just in time. Me and Coy were about to go take the gnosis from the body of Rex Lapis, care to join us?" Tatey didn't know what any of that meant, but if Tart and Coy were down, it had to be a Top G mission.

Tate went with them to a large building on the outskirts of the city. "Welcome to the Golden House, Tate. This is where all of Teyvat's money is made, and where the body of Liyue's archon is being held," said Tart. Tate only heard money and was already banging on the doors to get in.

They enter the building and there are giant piles of gold coins with a giant dragon on the other wall. Tartaglia floats up to the body of the dragon and grabs a small chess looking piece out of its chest. Tart laughs maniacally as he holds the piece in his hand. Suddenly a burst of purple and blue light shoots into the building.

Tate looks at the entrance as two FEMALES enter. One has purple hair with a purple dress and a sword and the other has blue hair with small goat horns and a bow.

Andrew scoffs, what could two BETA WOMEN do to three ALPHA MALES. Suddenly Tartaglia transforms with a flash of blue, purple, and brown. Suddenly he went from wearing a gray suit to wearing thick armor with a giant cosmic cape.

"Oh no, HE'S GOT THE GNOSIS!" one of the beta women yelled.

Tart aims a giant spear at them and then a giant beam shoots out destroying the entire front of the building. Andrew watches in awe. This must be Tart's true alpha form. Tartaglia slowly lowers his hand and says, "Haha... what a beta building..."

Tate looks at Tartaglia with stars in his eyes... is this what love feels like? Coy notices and quickly puts his arm around Tart, "Well done, pal"

Tate raises his voice loud enough to yell, "TARTAGLIA...", Tart looks over,

"What is it comrade?", Andrew stutters, "I.. I want you to teach me the true Alpha way... can you do that?"

"Of course I can comrade, but first I've got to conquer a city!" Andrew has never been so in love, as he watches Tartaglia single-handedly destroy an entire city.

Editor's note: hello to all like three loyal fans of this series! keep stroking their egos in the comments so they'll keep writing this (or don't, and the world will be better off)