Little Caotic Stories

One Last Kiss

TW: angst, death, hospital, mention of pills and lesbian couple

Two years.
I've known her for two years.
Two years to observe her, to memorize every mole, every hair out of place, every nuance in her eyes. Two years during which to notice every single second of peace, where she finally finds relief from the excruciating pain that torments her. Two years in which we have talked, we have already talked a lot and about many things, perhaps too many; all those evenings spent whispering secrets to each other, me sitting on the window, her in bed, the room illuminated by the little moonlight that passed through the clouds. Two cloudy years, studded with difficulties and suffering; but also strength and hope. Hope, the engine of humanity, no matter how horrible the situation may be, somehow they always find a hope to hold on to and no one has ever been so connected to life, to its hope like her.
I wish I could turn around, walk away from this hospital and run far, away from her, so as not to hurt her, so as not to take away that light that she has hidden in her eyes, under layers of tears and frustration, so as not to take away that smile that for me means in the sun.
But I can not.
I can not afford it.
I enter and slowly climb the stairs, as usual it is a cloudy night and even if there is a full moon in the sky it cannot reach the patient rooms. Her room is on the third floor, 307. Opening the door proves to be the hardest thing I've done in my life.
She is there, still and sitting on the bed, smiling but her cheeks are lined with continuous crying. I know that pale but deep redness that borders the eyelids, I've already seen it in many situations, but I never thought it would hurt me so much to see it again.
She's waiting for me.
I place my scythe against the wall and move closer. She turns and smiles at me, nodding as she gives me one last look.
Her lips taste like pills, bitter but so soft. I feel her last line of energy pass to me and her body begins to lose support, settling into me. I want to leave, detach myself from her, but I can't, I'm too weak to push her away while she's mine. Even if only for a few moments, even if I know it won't last, even if I know that I'm killing her, in this moment she's mine, she's finally mine.
Dark tears begin to fall down my face, wetting her shirt. As she pulls away from me, flowing lifelessly down my body, I pick she up gently.
The temperature change is so fast.
Our embrace will last all night, while my tears will be enough to fill the ocean, a black ocean, cold and still as pitch.

Author's note
I wrote this instead of studying for my science test, i don't regret nothing
Hope you liked, thanks for reading