Little Caotic Stories

Fog

TW: mention of vanish, apathic talk about emotions

Fog is a very underrated meteorological element. Personally I consider it the substance of the human soul.
This is why when I see the mountains emerge from a sea of fog, trying not to sink into it, I see myself there again and wish I could steal their destiny.
On mornings like this I leave the house and stretch my arms into the mist, feeling the cold drops in contact with the bare skin of my forearms. I don't care how cold it is outside, going out in short sleeves to feel the essence of life in contact with your self is unparalleled.
I wish I could disappear into this cold blanket, be absorbed and lose myself inside it forever.
At least I would be part of something, at least it wouldn't abandon me, at least it would accept me.
A notification shakes the weak embrace between me and my beloved, I'm not going to read it. Just my "friends" trying to fix one of their many problems; even if according to some I am responsible for the latest disaster.
I know I'm not a good person, but I honestly don't think I'm even among the worst, but I can understand why they consider me that way.
Not feeling empathy but being a sensitive person is a strange mix, I can understand how people around me feel, but I don't feel that harmony that unites empathetic people with their loved ones. No matter what happens, I have never shared someone's pain, no matter how close they are to me. I see their emotions, but they slide over me. I can act as an empath if it's a necessity, but it's just that, an actor's performance.
However, this should not be confused with indifference, as far as I can understand my emotions, I love my friends. But there's a reason why I maintain that fog is the essence of the human soul, or at least mine. I think cold, wet and persistent is a great way to describe me. Honestly, I wouldn't cry if I were left alone, if I suddenly lost all my loved ones I wouldn't shed a tear, not because I don't feel love, but because I know what happens, nothing lasts and it's good to enjoy it while you have it, but you have to take it into account that in the end everything fades away. Just as the fog leaves room for the return of the warm rays of the sun, so, sooner or later, a few moments before breaking up, it will take me with it; in that autumn world where no one will judge me for lack of humanity.

Author's note:
This was a foggy morning lol
I love writing, it's at the same time relaxing and intense. One of my favorite things
Hope you enjoyed
See y'all in the next story