Prologue: A Forever Memory

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There are certain memories that etch their way into your soul. They become pillars of your identity. An everlasting monument to your pain and suffering. My forever memory was carved into me with a kitchen knife.

I remember the bruise on your eye, the bright red blood that leaked from your chin, and how your hands shook with fear. Despite the pain and fear you felt as he swung at you again, and again, you kept your mouth shut, save the few whimpers that inadvertently escaped. Even then, as I watched the horrific scene unfold from the staircase, I think a part of me knew you did this for me. You endured him for me, because if it wasn't you... it would be me. He slammed you against the wall, and the pictures that loosely hung near the fading wallpaper shattered as they hit the floor.

He screamed about how fed up he was. How you never loved him, and never did anything for him despite everything he did for you. You turned away your head from his gaze, and squeezed your eyes shut all but praying for it to be over. As he pulled you closer to him, hissing words into your ear, I watched as your face turned from pain to horror. Your head jolted towards me.

In a flurry you grabbed his jacket, locking him in close to you.

"Vaila, RUNN!!" I remember, how your voice broke when you screamed at me to run. Tears rolling down your cheeks, your arms shaking as you prevented him from leaving your grasp. My feet responded faster than my head, obeying your request. As I bolted from the stairs and out through the front door, I got a glimpse of a sadness that veiled your face, almost as if you were trying to say goodbye.

My feet slammed against the concrete as I sprinted down the back alley. Every breath seemed to sting, with my lungs begging for air, but I willed myself to keep running. Hope plagued my thoughts, believing someone, anyone, would see me, hear me, and come to our aid.

As I neared the end of the road, I caught a glimpse of a dark blue cape, the personification of my belief. Defying my lack of breath, a desperate scream built in my chest. "Hel-!"

I remember the taste of ash as his hand covered my mouth and dragged me into the darkness away from prying eyes. Away from the hero in the blue cape. The pressure on my shoulder and mouth grew painful, but not as painful as I watched every hope I had disappear behind the corner. Tears fell from my eyes, lining my cheeks and falling on the cold hands that held me in place in the darkness of the cold alley wall.

He dragged me back to the house, the pain from his grip on my arm and neck growing with every passing minute. My feet fumbled against the concrete, as they retraced the steps I had taken but a few moments before.

But most of all... I remember your body, limp in the hallway. Your long brown hair covering the face that had so quietly wished me goodbye. Your white shirt soaked through with blood, with a knife protruding from your abdomen. The shattered pictures surrounded you, and all the warmth you once possessed... was gone.

At that moment, looking down at you, I think something broke in me. As much as I wanted to scream, to run, to fight, to cling to you and pray that you wake up, I just stood there. As still as a stone in the river. In shock, I let him lead me up the stairs to my room, just as dark as that alley, and stood motionless as I heard the faint click of the lock behind me.

I don't think I moved a single muscle. My feet were frozen to the floor like a mouse trapped in glue. Horror, confusion and chaos preventing me from leaving the spot where he had left me.

Even years later, I still feel trapped. Frozen in that moment in time.

And in the spirit of pure honesty, there are times, when I can't help but wonder, what would've happened if I had run a little faster or a little farther. Or even screamed a little louder. But no matter how many wishes I may make, that the past could be malleable, the fact remains that it is a hardened cement brick. A forever unchanging monument of my life.

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