His Lost Pages

November 23, 2000 Dreams

Today is a quiet day. Its kinda rare in my home when you don't hear someone screaming and begging for their life. I guess the family is resting today. Out of the whole family, I have been asleep the most. My dad tested me to see if I had any drug last week and it was negative. He was then confused about why I was sleeping. He asked me and I simply said that my body is just tired. My dad had a lie detector next him and tested it on me. My body felt too tired to me that it didn't even raised its blood pressure or have a reaction in the brain when I said the lie. My dad then commanded me to go back in my cell. He even called in our families doctor and he too was confused. They let me be and that was the only thing that has happened this morning. What was really happening to me, is that i wanted to sleep. I only wanted to keep thinking about that girl. I didn't know much about her, or know anything when I was little. Although now, i want to see her again. The way she made me felt, was like no other thing in the world. That is why I keep dreaming. For some reason, part of my head says that your crazy. I agree. Even though I cant see that girl in real life anymore, That's not a reason to not a reason to give up. So I did the unthinkable. I asked my dad when he visited my cell if i could leave the house and he said "Absolutely not." Well there goes my plan... I guess i should of added some cute eyes or something to please him. Then i asked if I could go on a killing spree and he said yes. So i went to see if she was there at the park when I left asylum. She....Wasn't... I waited for 2 hours there and nothing... so long I had waited, only to feel more depressed and alone. I killed like 10 guys that were stealing from a poor old hobo. It was unfair. I gave back the money and he said " may god be by your side" At first I thought. WHO THE HELL IS GOD?! I have heard of that name when kids use it. when they see me kill there brothers of mom or dad,  they say " oh my god! " but I never knew what it described. I was covered in blood, so I had proof that I killed someone. I look at the park before I go home. Still, she wasn't there. I felt that depression as it stabbed my heart. I went back home and my dad sent me back to my cell. I went to sleep after a quiet day. I don't feel like writing anymore... Im going to dream about that girl for the 9th time. I wish my dreams would last forever. Then I wont have to wake up for tomorrows depression...