✓ IF YOU STAY | HEESEUNG

37 - Scared Of Falling

Haejun's confession replayed in Y/N's mind while she walked back home with sleeping Minjae in her arms and Danbi trotting happily beside her. The weight of his words hung in the air, but Y/N couldn't find the right words to respond. She knew that her feelings for Haejun had never truly faded, but hearing him confess his love was both exhilarating and overwhelming.

She also didn't know where she stood in Heeseung's life and she was starting to fall in love with him and now she had another man confessing his love.

When she stepped inside the building and into the elevator, she stared back at her reflection in the mirror and patted Minjae's back while he wrapped his arms around her neck, wearing his favorite frog backpack. When the elevator doors opened, she stepped out with her dog and carefully knocked on Heeseung's door, hoping that his ex-wife wouldn't be there anymore. She wondered about what they could have talked about, what they could have done, what they could have felt.

The fact that Heeseung had a son with her only meant he loved her so much that he wanted to have a family with her. And it made Y/N wonder about her own desires, the kind of future she envisioned for herself. There was no clear path to follow.

The door opened, revealing a tired-looking Heeseung whose eyes widened at the sight of his son sleeping in her arms. "He was trying to stay awake but then he fell asleep," Y/N explained softly, watching as he gave her a tired but warm smile and stepped aside to let her in. "We went to the park and had a great time," she continued, trying to keep the atmosphere light, though she couldn't help but feel the tension in the room.

Heeseung closed the door behind her and nodded. "I'm glad he had fun. Thank you for taking care of him, Y/N." He led her to Minjae's room where she gently laid the sleeping boy on his bed, making sure he was comfortable and tucking him in. The room was filled with his toys and drawings and one of them made her pause. It was a family portrait, but she was there, along with Danbi who was drawn with a wagging tail.

"This is me." She whispered, glancing at Heeseung who nodded with a soft smile. "And this is you." When she pointed at the tall stick figure with a mop of hair, Heeseung chuckled softly.

"I think we're the people he loves the most. Along with Danbi. He talks about him all the time." Heeseung replied, his voice filled with warmth. "I've never seen Minjae get fond of someone this much. You really hold a special place in his heart, Y/N."

"He's such a nice kid, it's easy to like him and feel close to him," Y/N replied, her voice soft. "And he's got a great dad too."

Heeseung's smile grew a bit wider at her words, and he ran a hand through his hair as if trying to collect his thoughts. "Thank you for saying that." He took a step closer, and their eyes locked in a warm, lingering gaze. "I just..." She watched as his jaw tightened and he held her hand, pulling her out of the bedroom into the living room. "I'm sorry about Eunji. She's... not an easy person to deal with. What I'm trying to say is that nothing is going on between us and I really don't want her back. I don't want her in my life and I just want to be a good father to Minjae and a good... a good man to you." 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as Heeseung's words washed over her. She had been grappling with the uncertainty of her feelings for him, but hearing his genuine confession and his desire to be a part of her life left her feeling breathless. The vulnerability in his eyes made her soften. "Heeseung..."

"You know what? I was trying to make it a surprise for you but I want you to know this now," She watched as he stepped into his room and walked back with a dress in his hands, the same one he said he was making for some woman Y/N didn't know. It was finished, with intricate lace details that made it even more stunning than Y/N had imagined. Heeseung held the dress out to her, a hopeful look in his eyes. "I made this dress for you, Y/N. I know I said I was making it for someone else, but that was just an excuse to surprise you. I wanted it to be perfect for you."

"It's for... me?" She breathed, her fingers trailing over the delicate lace. "But why..."

"You've been nothing but welcoming and kind to Minjae and me and I didn't know any other way to show you just how grateful I am." He scratched the back of his neck and Y/N watched the way his arm muscles flexed beneath the fabric of his shirt. "Making dresses is all I can do and I wanted to make something that would express what I couldn't put into words."

"I thought you were making it for someone else and it made me upset for some reason... I can't believe you did this. It's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me." She held the dress close to her, staring at him while he leaned against the doorframe, crossing his strong arms. Heeseung's gaze softened, and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched her.

"Why were you upset, Y/N?" The question caught her off guard and just then she realized what she blurted out. "You can tell me." It felt as if they were both tiptoeing around something that needed to be addressed and acknowledged.

"I... I wanted it to be for me." She didn't know she could be so honest and admit that she wanted something for herself. It was a revelation, not just about the dress, but about her own desires and what she wanted from Heeseung. It wasn't just the dress that she wanted. "I just thought that you had somebody else who mattered so much that you'd create something this beautiful for them and it made me feel uneasy. I mean, you're giving me all these mixed signals and I'm left wondering... and feeling insecure."

Heeseung approached her, his fingers softly touching her chin to make her look at him. "Y/N... do you like me? Because I do. I feel like there's this tension between us and we're both wary of it but neither can do anything because I'm a single father and you're probably thinking about a thousand things right now. I don't know where I stand in your life, but I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. Minjae adores you, and I find myself caring about you more and more each day. I think about you even when I'm busy with work or with Minjae, and I can't help it."

"Yes," Y/N met Heeseung's gaze, her heart pounding as the weight of his words sank in. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made her want to be equally honest. "I like you, Heeseung. More than I've allowed myself to admit. It's confusing and scary but I... I do like you." She could see relief wash over his face, a genuine smile breaking through the tension that had gripped them.

Heeseung's fingers slid from her chin to gently cup her face, his eyes searching hers. "I'm not asking for any commitments or decisions right now. I just want you to understand that I'm here, and my feelings for you are genuine. I want you to know that I have Minjae to take care of and work and everything, and if you'd like to take this step-by-step with me then I'm willing to do that. There's no rush, we can go at your pace."

She smiled, the butterflies dancing inside her stomach. "I think taking it slow sounds like a good idea." Heeseung's smile deepened, and he leaned in for another gentle forehead kiss that she secretly wished would last forever.

As they stood there, close but not too close, Heeseung gently brushed a strand of hair away from Y/N's face. "I want to take you out for dinner, and I'd like it if you wear this dress. I made it with every thought of you in mind, you know? I'm a pretty whipped man."

"My favorite literature is romance. You're good." She smiled, looking away to hide her blush and Heeseung's laughter filled the room, a warm and soothing sound. Y/N didn't know if it was wrong of her to feel like she was already a mother who had tucked her kid in bed and spent quality time with her partner. It was a role she had never imagined for herself, but somehow, it felt right. Heeseung made it feel right. "I should go, right? You must be exhausted after everything today."

Heeseung nodded, his eyes still fixed on her. "Yes, but it's a good kind of tired. I just confessed and you said you like me, so that's a pretty great day in my book." The way she smiled and looked down at her feet made his heart skip a beat. She was beautiful and he knew it, but whenever he saw her smile because of him, it felt like a small victory. 

Y/N nodded, still clutching the dress in her arms before they said goodbye and as she turned to leave, he watched her go with a fond smile, his heart light and hopeful. Gosh, he was really falling for her, and it scared him in the best possible way.