The endo diary - Colby Brock/OC

Backstory

Dear diary,

My friend told me just write all my feeling down about my endo. She said that it might help with my anxiety about my op on Monday, so I'm giving it a go.

Right, where do I start? I think I remember waking up one day, I was about 8, and my stomach hurt. I mean it wasn't that bad looking back but it was painful enough for me to stay in bed all day on a Saturday, and although that isn't unusual for me now, what 8 year old wants to stay in bed all day!!!
The pain was strange, nothing I had felt before, it felt like a huge terrible pressure on my lower tummy.
Anyway, I recon that's where it started. I went to the doctors for it the first time, he gave me these strange pills and surprise surprise, they didn't work. So then for years I just left it, this pain is normal right (that's what I was told anyway).

My periods were never normal, having 6 months to a year to then having a period for 2 months straight. I went to doctors over and over again. Then getting on year long wait lists again and again. Having different tests again and again (and still nothing). Getting misdiagnosed again and again. All whilst still getting absolutely no where. No one knew what was wrong with me and I was getting desperate.

So I did something no one should really do. I googled my symptoms. Something I had never heard of came up. It was called "endometriosis" and the symptoms seemed to correlate with me. Google told me that "Endometriosis is a long-term condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes." But the more I read into it, the more serious it got. The only way to diagnose it is surgery? It can spread to the brain?!?! I couldn't of had this, could I?

So I ignored it, I'm not that ill, am I? But the pain just got worse as I was getting older. I stared passing out from pain. It felt like Edward scissor hands was trying to have a boxing watch with my abdomen, like gasoline and a lighter had met on my stomach, like someone was slicing and dicing my insides, like my insides where being dragged outside of my body. Fatigue was causing me to fall asleep in class and yes I have had at least 7 hours sleep. So I decided to go back to my doctor and mentioned endometriosis and she agreed with me. I was shocked, someone had actually listened to me. This had been the first time it had happened.

So I was put on another 6 month long wait list. When I finally met my new gynaecologist, she was slightly reluctant. Actually that's a bit of an understatement, she told me to look for the sun when I'm fatigued.
But I kept with her because I didn't have the energy to go through another waitlist. And after a whole lot of convincing and one hell of a death stare later. She agreed to surgery.

Now here I am, my surgery was already cancelled once and it's 2 days before my op. After years and years of being neglected by medical professionals, they have finally convinced me that it's all in my head. The only thing keeping me sane is looking at my period length/gap in my flo app.

So please wish me luck, I think I really need it.

Lots of love,
Ella ;)