I know I'm no good but my heart beats true

The Letter

Dear Peter,

I know I'm the last person you would ever expect to send you a letter. I know I've been a dick asshole bully in the past but please read this all the way through, I promise that this letter isn't anything bad.

God, how do I start this? I've been bullying you since what, the fifth grade? I think it started then, but all the years have blurred together. I refused to call you by your name, instead calling you Penis Parker (which now that I look back on it was such a childish and uncreative name) and I constantly belittled you and tried to embarrass you at every turn. You might be thinking, Flash I was the victim of your bullying, I know what happened, why are you writing this?

I'm writing this to say that I'm sorry. I am so so sorry. I know that sorry isn't enough for all the pain that I put you through, and you don't have to forgive me, but I want you to know that I deeply regret all of my actions.

I started bullying you because I was jealous. My mother died during childbirth and my drunk father blamed it on me (I mean it kinda was my fault). I was never enough for him, I was just this disappointment that he had to put up with. I remember the first time he hit me was the first time I started bullying you. I was jealous that you had a mother figure and a father figure in your life, because I didn't have that. I was still jealous after your uncle died because you still had a mother figure. I flaunted my money at you because I felt that was the only thing I had that was better than you.

I recently started going to a therapist after I've finally been removed from my father's home. She's helped me understand that even though I was in a bad situation at home, that didn't give me an excuse to bully you and that what I did was wrong. She told me that if I want to start healing, I first have to right all the wrongs that I have caused. And apologizing to the person who I relentlessly bullied seemed like the first logical step.

I'm not telling you this to try and garner your sympathy and pity or to excuse my actions. I'm telling you this so you know that at least I wasn't bullying you because I hate you. I actually think that you're an amazing person.

You remind me of Spider-Man in a way. You're always so kind to everyone around you and you're always willing to help people. Hell, you've helped me more times than I can count even though I was actively bullying you! You didn't deserve to be bullied by me.

I really don't know what else to write. I just want you to know that I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused you. You didn't deserve that. I understand if you never want to speak to me again, if you want to get some sort of revenge. I'm ready to accept the consequences of my actions. I hope that through my actions I can show you that I truly have changed and maybe, one day, heal the hurt I have caused you and make amends.

If you ever want to talk to me, or if you ever need anything that I could help you with, my phone number is (718)-243-7098.

Sincerely,
Eugene Thompson