What is Normal?

The Road To Ok

A/N: alright guys, this is it! I thank you so much for reading and hope you'll check out my future projects!

The door to El's room was swung open now and people came and went. The nurses were getting a little ticked off, she could tell, but it didn't matter to her, she preferred having the door open, that way she could hear people talking. Back when El went to school in Lenora, her favorite way to shut down was by getting lost in other people's conversations.
Having the door open also allowed her to hear any new visitors. It was a long drive from Max's trailer park to the hospital, so whatever Will had told Max over the phone, he must have made it sound bad. Eddie was being kind enough to fairy her out to the hospital in the dead of night. Who was El kidding, it was bad. Still, suicidal or not, she couldn't stand feeling like a burden. Max should be sleeping right now. All her friends should be.
El was currently having this fight with Hopper, trying to get him to go home and sleep, (he absolutely would not budge) when she heard shuffling in the hallway and muted greetings. They didn't last for long, Max had no taste for pleasantries. Hopper heard them too, because he patted El's shoulder and left the room without a word.
Max hovered in the doorway like the ghost of a Southern bell in a faded Thrasher t-shirt. Her brows were nit together, pinched with stress and irritation. She didn't have her cane with her. That at least was good, maybe she was getting better. When she saw El her gaze cut through her like a pocket knife. Maybe her eyes were improving too, because El could swear she could see her.
     "Hi," El mumbled, trying for a smile. She had no idea what she must look like, circles under her eyes and arms wrapped in bandages. Max didn't say anything in return, instead she wordlessly crossed the hospital suite and came to stand next to El. Her gaze was fixed on the gauze wrapped around El's arms, she reached out and traced a finger down her arm, still refusing to look at El's face.
     Some of the smaller cuts that El had made weren't wrapped up, and Max focused on those. "How long?" Max asked, finally speaking.
     "Long time," was all El could say. Max looked at El, really looked at her. Max had never been good at concealing her emotions, and this was no exception. Pain was written all over her pale features and El couldn't stand it.
     "You know I meant it, right? When I said you could tell me anything? You know I'll be here no matter what, right?" Max said, her voice was accusatory, but it lacked it's usually force. She was shattering and El could see it.
     "Yeah, I know, I just didn't want to be another problem, y'know? Something else for you to worry about," El muttered. She knew it wasn't much but it was true.
     When Max looked at her, her face was slack with disbelief. "Jesus Christ El, you're mine to worry about! Out of everything in my life you're the only thing that's actually good. You're the only one that's really still here. I'd do anything for you, El, so don't you tell me that you don't want to worry me."
     This was the third one of these conversations El had had tonight, and every time she thinks she can handle them they just hurt more. For the first time tonight El felt a few tears roll down her cheeks. Huh, I guess they recharge, just like my powers, she thought absentmindedly.
     She couldn't think of what she could say to Max to make things ok, so she just said the only thing she knew for sure at that moment. "Max, I love you. Not like the way you love me, I'm not supposed to love you the way that I do but I can't really help it. I'm sorry that I've made things so damn hard," El said, her eyes still burned.
     Max let out a weak laugh and smiled up at El through her hair. God she was beautiful. She reached over and cupped El's cheek, wiping a few of the tears away. Is she trying to kill me? El thought. "Max, I know you don't feel the same way, please just say something-"
     Max kissed her and everything around her disappeared for a moment. She didn't feel like she was in a hospital bed after a failed suicide attempt, at that moment she was just a girl kissing another girl. It was wonderful. It was such a good kiss, unlike the many she'd shared with Mike this one was filled with want, with words unsaid. Mike tasted like desperately chasing the initial feeling of warmth from their first moments together, when they both had no idea what was happening. Max tasted like the future, like a happiness El had never known.
     When Max pulled away she giggled, light and airy and full of hope. El felt better than she had in years. Maybe ever. All it took was a botched suicide and a confession. They were both giggling now, and Max took El's face in her hands and kissed her forehead, and her cheeks, and sealed promises there that she was bound to keep. "I love you too, El."
     El rested her head against Max's shoulder and laughed breathlessly. "I want to be ok. I want to be ok with you," She said.
     Max pressed her face into El's short, spiky hair and said "I know, I know El, we'll be ok together, how about that?"
     "That sounds good. That sounds real good Max," El said, and they just looked at each other for a moment. All the pinched up disappointment and anger was gone from Max's face. They both knew that the road to being ok was a long, hard one, but it didn't seem quite so impossible if they were together.