A Westside, Eastside Love Story

Exposed

I groaned, Dior was determined to be acknowledged and will not accept silence as her answer.

"Noah mi yuh deh yah asshole! Mi nuh have time fi d fuckry; him find out and now I'm scared to go home" Dior voice broke on the last words. I sat up in the bed and watch as Noah hauled on a sweatpants covering up his delicious lower half and with one last look, went to meet her.

I huffed and fell back in the bed. I was annoyed at the interruption, it would seem whenever we have finally figured what is it we want, there is always something or Someone quick to snatch his attention from me. I didn't care and wanted his attention back on me.

With that thought I head to the bathroom to fix my hair, I wasn't ready to wash away our night so far and I was vindictive enough to let Dior see the evidence. I pulled out an oversized shirt from Noah's closet and made my way downstairs.

I could hear Dior's hysterical voice and small agitated movements. She was finishing a sentence when our eyes collided.

" what the fuck Sin?!" Dior shouted angrily. " you went and fuck her? And den have the audacity to bring her here!! D fuck wrong wid yuh how could you be so cruel" her eyes spitting venom. If looks could kill, I'd disintegrate right on the spot.

I wore a happy smirk, happy to get under her skin but it immediately dropped when I caught Noah's expression. It was devoid of what the last hours were between us and we were back to the emotionless asshole. His next words confirmed it.

" you should change, an Uber coming to pick you n drop u home" I looked at him in disbelief, my mind struggle to find where we disconnected in the last few mins.

" seriously" I asked incredulously, not believing that I was being kicked to the curb again for this bitch. She wore a smug smile when I look back at her. My humiliation felt like a furnace burning it's way across my face as I head back upstairs. Shame kept me from lashing out, my throat closed up with unshed tears. I felt defeated after my few seconds of triumph. Each time I think I have made a dent, the goal post seem further away.

I angrily tore into my clothes imagining it was Noah face and I went in the bathroom with the intention of fixing myself but I could not bear to meet my own eyes, to see the condemnation in them and my self worth dying a slow death.

I made my way downstairs once more, this time not making contact with either party, my eyes zeroed on the front door. I heard Noah said my name and Dior whining about wasting more time on me when they gotta come up with a plan. I ignored both and slip out the door. The Uber have yet to arrived and so I slowly made my way to the gate, I wanted as far as possible from this wretched place. I heard him behind me, slowly matching pace as if we were just casually doing a night stroll.

" don't mek Dior sour this ting Candace" Noah sighed. I said nothing. I struggled to pull the gate and I felt him come out behind me. I sucked in my breath, my emotions to raw to deal with closeness in the moment.

"There's some things in my life that I'm dealing with right now and Dior is apart of some. I don't want you caught up in it cause that will mean another person to worry about. Talk to me"  he breathed.

The Uber saved me from saying something I might regret when its headlight cut across the stillness of the night.

"Open the gate plz mek me go mi yard" I said. Noah made no attempt and I pushed against the gate. A second passed before he sighed and open the gate but of course he wasn't about to let me go without the last word.

"I meant what I said C, we a do this n if yuh feel yuh can ignore mi you mek a sad mistake, you don't want to see that side of me so I advise you not to ignore when I reach out. Text me when you reach home" and with that he watched as I entered the car. I had no intention of ever letting him know if I got home safe. Let him worry.

As soon as I got to my dorm I scrubbed the nights evidence away and proceeded to cry myself to sleep cause it was too late in the night to scream my frustration. It was an hour after I got back I received a text from him.

Noah asshole: I know you reached home cause Tullo text me cause I knew you wasn't gonna do it. I checked Dior for her earlier comments and I'll allow you some time to sulk. We will talk about you blatant disobedience wah next time, good night C.

I scoffed at his message, too angry to feel anything for the fact he checked Dior. I felt drained, defeated. Is this the future I want where I'm constantly struggling with what to feel where this relationship is concerned?

I was too tired to even do the mental calculation and I soon feel into deep sleep.

~~~~~~

Days later

The holidays season was now upon us, the halls were being emptied with only a few students like hall advisors who were gonna be here over the short break. I was heading back to country since I didn't have any grand plans to party in hotels over the break and frankly, I needed the solace that country has to offer right now, I needed familiarity and home. 

Brit decided to spend the first half with Shameil and then I would travel back to Kingston for our half lil bit before the new school term starts. If Brit notice anything off about me, she didn't say anything. I could tell my friend wanted to ask why my mood has been so dark for days but I always managed to deflect and get her to talk about her newly blossomed relationship, but I knew when we got together for our half of holidays I will not be able to deflect so easily.

We said our goodbyes and I started my journey back to my hometown. I drowned my mood out with my travel playlist on shuffle, effectively breaking down my mood cause this playlist ranged from Afrobeat to EDM all the way to 80s disco. I needed my mood to be stable cause while I can handle Brit, my mom was a different matter. 

In no time I was existing the new max field highway, winding down spur tree and when the "welcome to St. Elizabeth" came into view , I breathed a sigh of relief. My two weeks of solitude begins now.

I pulled into my home driveway, gates are always open in the countryside.

 I always joke that the gate was purely for decoration n landmark purposes. I toot my horn to announce my arrival. As I got my bags out I heard my brother's heavy footsteps coming from around the house side.

"Big head yu reach"  my brothers 230 lb body dropped heavily against me.

" jezzam peace! Bari come off me wid u sweaty self" I complained with a stupid grin on my face. I pushed him off n shoved my bags in his hands. Jabari shakes his head and turn to the house, I watched him leave. It's crazy and unfair how quickly overnight boys can grow. Before I left he was a scrawny thing barely taller than me and now he's almost grazing our 6"2 front door and the pound of muscles on my baby brother is disconcerting. I hate that he's growing up cause he can easily become an asshole like all the other assholes that are in the world now.

I angrily slammed my trunk, disgusted at where my thoughts were heading. It's been days since his last message, wishing me a happy holiday and that I'd see him soon. We haven't spoken since that awful night and I haven't seen him on the campus since then. I almost caved and ask Shameil if he's seen him, but I didn't want to seem like his absence affected me and seeing that I still haven't told Brit about us, I was not ready to explain why I was asking for him either. I hate feeling confused and I hate him for upsetting my mood like this.

I quickly put away my stuff in my room, making my way to the kitchen to grabbed something to eat. I t was 3 in the afternoon and my mom wouldn't be home til 5. So I decided to make dinner since I didn't really have plans for the rest of the day. By the time my mom walked through the door, creating a bag an excitement, I was dishing out the evening's meal.

My family and I sat and prayed over our sautéed shrimp stirfy with baked potatoes and a glass of sorrel. We laughed, each giving an update on what's been going in our lives, me expertly leaving out anything to do with Noah, then my mom caught me up in all the community gossip. 

At the end I learned that 3 of my primary school mates are expecting, 2 sharing the same baby daddy and the other one having a child for a married deacon of another denomination a community over. Some old folks died and Mass Macham was still beating on Miss Shirley even though they're both pushing 80.

It was good to be back.