To the Ends of the Earth

Chapter Twelve: (Liam) Masochist

Masochist!

I had to be a fucking masochist. What else could explain why I willingly tortured myself? I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I tried to control the raging hard-on in my pants. Fuck! I wasn't expecting Lottie to get that comfortable so quickly. I convinced myself to suck it up and sat still as she cuddled up to me but —after an hour— I needed a break. I desperately wanted her to feel safe with me, so I was willing to suffer through anything. But, not touching her was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I was surprised I didn't snap my knees from how hard I was gripping them.

"You got this Liam," I whispered, giving myself a pep-talk. "She needs you to be strong. If you love her, you need to have better control."

It had been around nineteen months since I'd last touched Lottie. But even then, we had only shared a few side hugs and one peck on the cheek. I could vividly remember the way Lottie turned rigid when I leaned over the console of my car and caressed her cheek with my lips. I'd pulled away quickly, not understanding why she had gotten so tense from an innocent kiss. I had thought I'd misread the situation, and that's why I was so easily led to believe she wasn't into me.

Nineteen Months Ago

I swallowed down my whisky, ignoring the burn it left down my throat. I wanted to feel the pain. Maybe, the alcohol could cover up the hurt I felt in my heart.

"It was really cute at first, but now it's borderline pathetic," Vivi said, patting my hand.

I didn't respond to her and took another sip from my glass. I needed to numb out my emotions. I wanted to erase her words from my memory.

"She's just not that into you, Liam. You know how Lottie is... she thinks she's better than everyone. And someone with your background could never be a serious contender for her love," Vivi continued to ramble.

I swallowed down the rest of my whisky and signaled to the bartender for a refill. "I understand, Virginia. There is no need to elaborate."

"I'm sorry, Liam. You deserve someone who'd be honored to be with you. Lottie is not the right one for you."

Lottie was the only one for me. For years, I couldn't get her out of my head. I tried dating other women. I thought what I felt was simply an infatuation that would pass with time. But, my feelings didn't fade away. After the first moment I met Lottie, I couldn't become seriously involved with another woman. It wouldn't be fair to date others when my mind was filled with thoughts of Lottie.

Shaking my head, I snapped myself out of my memories. I didn't have to worry anymore about frightening Lottie with my erection. It seemed the only thing Vivi was good for was to be a boner-killer.

I took a deep breath, opened the bathroom door, and walked back into the living room. Lottie was still seated on the sofa, but she was holding my phone with a troubled expression on her face.

"What's wrong sweetheart? Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned.

She stared at me silently for a minute. And then, she shook her head.

"What is it, Lottie? You're beginning to worry me."

"Promise not to get mad," she murmured.

"I could never get mad at you."

"I answered your phone."

"Okay..."

"It was Vivi," she rushed to say.

"What? Why was she calling me?"

"Well, I'm not sure. But, she basically told me to back off. She said you'd never want me when you have her."

I quickly approached her and dropped to my knees in front of her. "It's not true, Lottie. I'm not seeing her. I haven't heard from her since Alex and Athena's wedding."

"I know, Liam. You do not need to defend yourself. I don't believe a word the narcissistic bitch has to say."

"Then, why are you so upset? Is it because she brought up painful memories?"

"No Liam," she replied, rubbing my arm. "I was just thinking about something."

"What is it, butterfly? You can tell me anything."

"I think you should flirt with her," she blurted.

"Except that," I shook my head. "Absolutely not. Do not tell me that, Lottie."

"Hold on, hear me out."

"Lottie, I thought we went over this. I want you. I'm courting you. I'm in love with you."

Oh, shit! That is not how I wanted to confess my feelings.

"You do?" she breathed, sounding awed.

I cupped her cheek with my hand and gave her a smile. "It's impossible not to love you. You're the most beautiful person inside and out. I've slowly been falling more and more in love with you over the years. The more I get to know you, the harder I fall."

"Liam, I..."

"No sweetheart," I interrupted. "You do not have to address it right now. I want you to take your time. I wasn't planning on revealing my feelings tonight, but you need to know how I feel. I could never flirt with anyone, especially not Virginia."

"That's not what I meant, Liam. I have a plan."

"A plan?" I asked, confused.

Lottie looked down at me and nodded, giving me the most unusual smile.

Uh-oh! This was going to be interesting.