𝐀𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 | sturniolo's younger sister

Chapter 9: 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤

A m i r a ' s P O V

It was getting bad.

Mason knew.

"Hey, you, uhm, are you sure you're alright?" He asks, looking at me softly, "I-I'm I- I think I'm having a p-panic attack," I say feeling tears well in my eyes, "oh shit, okay, uh, do you wanna sit?" He asks clearly not knowing what to do, "can you just- take me to my b-brother- please," I ask him.

This was horrible. I'd been doing so good with no Panic attacks for 5 months and of course, I just had to have another one, I can feel it's about to get increasingly worse but luckily, Mason had spotted Matt, over at a door, alone.

Mason walks me over to him, instantly Matt's head snaps up, "Amira." He says rushing to hold me. "M-Matt" I say, "it- it's getting bad Matt- I- I can't breathe" I stutter out, "hey- hey, don't worry, your okay, alright?" He reassures me. But of course, I'm not okay, it's getting worse and Matt knows.

Matt looks up at Mason, "and you are?" Matt asks, "mason, we were talking and she told me to bring her to you," Mason responds, "okay, thanks man," Matt says, switching his attention to me as Mason walks off.

Matt examines me and wipes away a few of my tears before moving me outside where no one is. "Matt- it's- I- I can't breathe," I say beginning to shake, "okay- Amira- let's take some deep breaths together alright? Follow me" he says allowing me to copy his breathing pattern, "Matt- I'm sorry- this is my fault" I say tears spilling out of my eyes, "hey. This is not your fault, okay?" He reassured me, pulling me into a hug.

M a t t ' s P O V

Amira needed me.

She didn't need to talk, she didn't need Chris or Nick.

She needed me.

And so, I'm helping her to the best of my ability. The last time I helped her with panic attacks, was before we left for Boston, when she would have them almost everyday, I knew I was her comfort person, and so I would do my best to help her.

I knew she didn't want to talk about her panic attack at the moment so I decided to leave with her.

"Alright Amira, I'm gonna go get Nick and Chris will you be okay to sit here?" I ask gently, "no matt, c-can I come with you? I don't want to be a-alone" she says, still recovering after her attack. "Of course" I say, helping her stand up and bringing her closer to me.

We both walk back into the house, my eyes instantly finding Nick and Chris standing together near a table. I head over with Amira, and when they spot us their eyes go wide, "Mira, are you okay?" Nick asks, coming over to comfort her. I allow Nick to take her, he obviously knew we were gonna to head home, so Nick walks her off to the car, holding her close, I turn back to look at Chris, "what happened?" He asks, "she had a panic attack," I reply, "oh shit. She was doing so good not having them," Chris responds slowly beginning to walk to the car with me, "yeh, when we get home, could you call mum? To let her know? And then I think we just need to be really gentle with her." I say to him as we approach the car. "Yeh of course," he replies.

The car ride home was silent, except for the quiet sobs of Amira and Nick reassuring her it will all be okay.

I knew it wouldn't be okay.

After every Panic attack, Amira would fall into a bad mental health state and stay that way for a while.

Amira had never cut herself, she'd told me once she'd had thoughts of doing it, but I told her to never do it, and then I'd kept an eye on her for a while. I really didn't want her to cut herself and then not tell us. I had to make sure she was open about her feelings, but I'd let her tell me on her own time. For now she just needed to be comfortable.

We arrive home and I take Amira to her room, "wanna talk?" I ask softly, she shakes her head in response, "okay, get some rest," I say softly, shutting her door and walking out back to my room.

C h r i s ' P O V
I head back to my room, once we arrive home and pull out my phone, calling my mum. She instantly picked up, "hey honey, everything alright?" She asks softly, "yeh-uhm it's- about Amira, she had a panic attack," I tell her, the line goes silent, "oh, uhm, is she okay? Does she need to come home?" She asks me, "no she should be fine, she's getting some rest now," I can hear her sigh, "okay good. Look after her Chris, you always have an impact on her having a smile Chris, you gotta make her happy before she goes into her bad mood," she tells me.

A soft smile spreads over my face, hearing my mum say I have a big impact on Amira being happy, "I will," I respond, "good, take care of yourself as well," she says before hanging up.

I put my phone down, beginning to get ready for bed,

I feel happy about myself, learning that I have a special connection with Amira by making her mood better.

I slowly, lie down on my bed, a memory coming over me, suddenly changing my mood.

Memory:

Amira walked into my room, earlier today she's had a panic attack, and I knew immediately she was extremely upset as she walked in,

"Mira?" I ask her, slowly standing up.

"Chris, I-I need to tell you something," she says softly, looking down.

"Okay, of course," I reply, worriedly looking at her,

"Normally I tell Matt these sorts of things, but I wanted to tell you," she says,

I nod and wait for her to tell me,

"I've been having thoughts, not bad thoughts," she reassures me, "I've been having thoughts of well, I," she's not able to tell me.

"Take your time," I reassure her.

She takes a deep breath, before continuing, "I've been having thoughts of, well self harming, and I wanted to tell you before it got bad. I've told Matt about these ages ago, but now I just, I wanted to tell you, I've been having these thoughts for the past couple days, and I really really don't want to hurt myself, but I feel like I need to," she spills everything out as I stand there shocked.

"Amira, you know that's not good," I say,

"I'm sorry, I'm being stupid, forget I said anything," she tells me, turning to leave

"Hey, wait no, it's not stupid Amira." I tell her, causing her to turn back around, "I'm here for you, you can talk to me whenever," I say.

A soft smile spreads over her face, "thanks Chris, I'll- I'll tell you if I ever feel like I'm about to hurt myself."

End of memory

I didn't realise then, but I realised now, Amira definitely wouldn't tell me if she cut herself, she wouldn't tell anyone, I can remeber when she said, "I'll tell you," and she definitely didn't sound so certain about that.

I had to keep and eye on her, because I really don't want her hurting herself.

Words from me!!

Did you like this chap???
I'm not completely sure if I liked it
Anyways hope your enjoying the book💗

Word count: 1322

Words from me!!
Small but I hope you enjoy!!
I'm not great at writing panic attack scenes but I tried my best

Word count: 784