As The Memories Fade // c.h.

17. Pep Talk

My little fainting stunt cost me 30 minutes of my already shortened to 60 minute 'get ready' time. I had to wash my hair, but there was no way I was going to be able to dry it, so I ended up braiding it and leaving it at that. I barely even put makeup on. It was just a bus day anyways, so I suppose it wasn't really that bad that I didn't look super fantastic.

It was about an hour into our day and a half trip to god knows what city, and all the five of us had done was talk about this morning's events. Every single one of us was floored about it, even if the crash wasn't necessarily a memory one would wish to get back.

"You're not lying to me just to make me feel better, are you?" I questioned, peering at the four boys in front of me with a suspicious look. They had been talking about how the two girls were perfectly okay. Their car was a lot more sturdy than Calum's had been, and it saved their lives.

"It's the truth, promise." Calum said. Luke was scrolling through his phone, and moments after his bandmate spoke, he held the device out for me to see.

"See? Two very much alive and healthy girls, post crash. There were a few bumps and bruises, as well as a broken finger, but that was it." I couldn't help but smile at the picture. Though everyone in the frame had some sort of bandage or bruise, there were only smiles on their faces. Luke was holding a balloon that said 'get well soon' on it, his other arm slung around the shoulders of a small girl with dark red hair. The only thing of notice was the fact that Calum was nowhere to be found.

"I did go see them, by the way. But you were in surgery right then and I was waiting for you to come out of it." Calum explained, as if knowing I was wondering about his absence in the picture. I glanced up at him and nodded, my hand absent-mindedly going to my left arm, where a slight scar was the only reminder of one of the surgeries I'd had a few months ago.

"Well I'm glad everyone made it out okay." I said, sighing quietly. The four boys in front of me exchanged looks, and I rolled my eyes. Over the past month, I'd been working on studying the various nonverbal communications the boys used so I could figure out what they weren't telling me about certain things. Like now, for instance. "Go ahead, don't be shy." I said dryly, looking between the four of them. "I know you're all thinking it. Not everyone made it out okay. Sorry to be the one who ruined your statistics."

The silence that followed my words actually irritated me more than the fact that they didn't think I was okay. I mean, they were right in thinking it, but still. Every single one of them was so afraid to talk about my condition, as if they were worried merely mentioning the amnesia would make me forget even more things about my past. We were back to the whole 'walking on eggshells' thing. I hated it.

"Alright. Well, I'm feeling a bit tired, so I'm just gonna go take a nap." I said shortly, pushing myself up from the couch. Nobody said a word as I exited the back section of the bus, closing the door with a slight bang behind me.

I heard the voices pick up as soon as the door was closed, but I really wasn't in the eavesdropping mood right now. I just needed to hear a familiar voice. I called the house phone, but it was my brother who picked up.

"Hey, Juni. Is mum home?" I asked.

"No, why? What's happened?" He seemed concerned, and I smiled slightly knowing how much he cared. He was 15, though it was hard to think of him as anything other than the 13 year old boy I remembered.

"Just need to talk to her I guess." I sighed. There was a pause on the other end of the line, and I had to check my phone to make sure I hadn't lost the call.

"Anything I can help with?" He questioned finally. I let out a short sigh.

"Maybe." I admitted. "It's just that nobody ever talks about the crash. Like ever. I mean, yeah I didn't remember it for a while there, but they do. It's like they're pretending it never happened." I spoke it all in one breath, my words sometimes becoming jumbled with the speed with which I was speaking them.

"Whoa. One thing at a time. Starting with your memory. You said didn't remember, like past tense." He said. I understood the hidden question in his words.

"Yeah, I remember the crash. Just the crash, but it's there. Every scary detail." I confirmed.

"That's great, Rose!" He exclaimed. "Really great. It means you might start getting more back soon. But now to the second thing. Have you asked them why they won't talk about it?" He suggested. I frowned.

"No. But I don't see why I should have to ask why they're pretending it never happened." I defended. He let out a short laugh at my response.

"Slow your rattle, rattlesnake. I was just making a suggestion. I mean, you're the one who said that you all should pretend you don't have amnesia. So that could be why they won't talk." I slid into the booth at the table just past the beds, rolling my eyes.

"I know that was my idea, Juniper. But they keep it up even when we're all alone." My brother let out a noise of protest when I used his full name, but didn't say anything while I continued speaking.

"Well I think you should just talk to them about it. I'm sure Cal can tell something is bothering you, but even he can't read minds, Ro." I sighed, propping my head up on my hand. He was right.

"I hate it when you're right." I grumbled. He laughed, and I could just imagine him puffing his chest with pride.

"You must just be full of hate, then, because I'm right pretty much always." He bragged. This time I was the one who laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are. In your mind at least." I teased. After a pause, I spoke again. "Thanks Juni. Tell mum I said hi. But tell her to call me when she can. I want to tell her about the memory thing myself."

"You're welcome, Ro. I'm always here if you need me, okay? And mum and Dylan. Just a call away." I smiled. He'd grown up so much. I was sad I didn't remember it.

"Love you." I said. He repeated the words back to me, and we ended the call.

I sat at the table for a while, just thinking. Was my brother right? Remembering the crash could be all I get back ever, but was it more likely that I'd remember more now that I'd gained one memory? What scared me the most, however was the thought that went through my head next.

Did I even want to remember anything else?

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Well. It took quite a long time for me to do this update. And for that I'm deeply sorry. But none the less, here is an update for you all to read and enjoy! Hope you liked it!

Love you all to bits and I'll see you next time!