Sacrifice

Chapter 7 : Chasing Shadows

The snow crunches satisfyingly underneath your feet. You hug your cloak closer to your body when a sudden gust of wind pushes past you. Yet, a warm feeling blossoms inside your chest as the feeling of your innermost layer of clothing made from the finest silk caresses your skin. After lunch, you had changed out of Riki's sleepwear and into one of the newest additions to your closet Jay brought home from the market. While you would have happily paraded around in the youngest prince's comfortable shirt, you wanted to venture outside the castle once more and wished for material that would cover the expanse of your body to retain maximum body heat.

Now as you're pacing to and fro from the castle to the garden, the word "new" reverberates inside your mind uncomfortably. You and the other six princes had been surprised by Heeseung's sudden proposition declared mid-meal. That does not go to say you missed the agreeing expressions some of the princes wore, which told you they were ready for a change of scenery, and understandably so. Yet, even by the time everyone left the dining room, all seven princes were in agreement that no final decision had been concluded given your silence for the remainder of the meal. Your mind had fallen into an instant back and forth, listing the pros and cons of all plausible options. And while your mind is urging you to go, to move with the princes so that they can finally have the fresh beginning they very much deserve, your heart hesitates. It yearns for those you have come to love in this second life, the ones whom you can't bear to part ways with just yet.

The night you asked Heeseung to bite you, you were fully aware of the implications of never seeing your friends and family again. However, a small part of you had hoped, albeit rather naively, that after a few years, you'd be able to sneak into the town to catch stolen glances of them - to ensure they were doing well and maintaining their health. So when the eldest prince suddenly proposed to move away to another country altogether, less than a week into your new life, your previous hopes had come tumbling down, leaving you with a pit of despair brewing deep within.

Now, more than ever, you wish you could reach inside your mind and retrieve the memories that seem to be temporarily dormant. Or at least, you assume the memories are simply buried away and will come back in due time. The yearning to reconnect with your past self is so strong, it's almost overbearing. When you first woke, an apprehensive feeling had sat heavy deep within your chest. Perhaps a part of you was intimidated by what your previous memories would hold. Not necessarily because you were scared of the princes. Rather, you were afraid that who you are now is someone the princes don't recognize and will ultimately have trouble readjusting life with. And for a few moments, the question, "What if I'm no longer who they want?" rang loud and clear in your head.

But now, that question is nowhere near your thoughts. Instead, you wish you could draw knowledge and experiences from your past life. You need to know how you handled parting with your loved ones in your first life and the methods you found to cope. Because then maybe, just maybe, the process a second time around will be a little easier to bear. That way, you can finally grant the princes the start of a new chapter in their eternal life.

"What are you thinking so hard about, little lamb?" Riki's voice startles you out of your thoughts. The prince reaches out frantically to stabilize your balance when you almost slip on a patch of frozen snow in fright. You, on the other hand, wish the ground can swallow you whole, or that the snow can melt away the warm flush on your cheeks. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he chuckles sheepishly, hands still placed firmly on either side of your shoulders.

"I just didn't hear you walk up," you dismiss flusteredly. "It's alright."

"Are you perhaps thinking of the prospect of moving?" Riki inquires again. Now that he has you standing in place, he takes this opportunity to stare down at you and study your features. It's almost as if your eyes will simply give away every thought you've been harboring.