IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU

𝟤.𝟣

It started in April. Skull rupturing headaches that were chalked up to dehydration after intense practices for basketball games. Beverly would self-medicate with a small handful of tiny red pain relief pills and a few glugs of water from the half gallon bottle that stayed in her gym bag. The pain would subside long enough for her to shower and make it to bed, plagued by consistent nightmares, but the relief was only temporary. Each day, practice rounded out with her brain pounding against the inside of her forehead, making her temples throb with each beat of her heart. Some days, she would have to rest in her car for hours in the school parking lot before she was able to drive home. Beverly was miserable, but as co-captain of the varsity cheer squad, her attendance and participation was required for any and all meetings and events. The girl played her role very well, gritting her teeth as she smiled through the pain.

Beverly spent many afternoons with her head resting on Robin's lap after an exhausting practice, allowing her friend's nimble fingers running through her golden hair to soothe the ache away. Of course, the band member was concerned. Beverly was perfect, but her behavior proved otherwise. The blonde ignored any attempts that her friend made to get her to seek medical help for the migraines. She insisted that they were growing pains, and maybe her boobs were going to finally come in. Although Robin laughed along, concern still settled in the pit of her stomach. Watching her best friend, her other half, suffer each day made the taller girl nearly sick to her stomach.

These concerns were shared in secrecy to Steve over greasy food and late night shifts at Family Video. Of course, the boy shared the same concern, despite his lack of communication with the blonde. He cared for Beverly, he always would, especially after the summer they had spent together. He hated that things were so different, that the girl he had just begun to fall for would not allow herself to seek comfort in him. He tried, tried to keep his hooks in her, but as Robin put it, Beverly was notorious for self-sabotage. The second she found someone that was good for her, she ran away.

Steve knew that she was hurting. It couldn't have been easy to watch an old lover die in front of you, watching someone you once cared deeply for take their last breath. He noticed that many people in his life changed after Billy Hargrove's death. He had six weeks of normalcy with Beverly after the Battle of Starcourt.

The same morning that Beverly was released from the hospital, Steve had left his empty house, where he had spent the better part of a week pacing back and forth down the entryway, and drove straight to the Morris home, not even thinking to pick up Robin. Her parents tried to avoid doting on the girl and gave the two teens the illusion of privacy in the living room. Beverly seemed so tiny, wrapped up in baggy clothes and heavy blankets on the plush couch in the center of the room. Steve sat as close to her as he felt comfortable, not knowing where her pain was located.
"Two broken ribs, may have a nasty scar, mild concussion..." Beverly had told him that same evening after Steve had finally relaxed into the couch. "I'm gonna miss a lot of camp."

Of course the girl was worried about cheerleading. She had spent her entire high school career campaigning for the spot of captain, and she had finally been awarded the title going into her senior year. Steve felt awful for her, hoping that the coach would be lenient with her situation.

To make her feel better, as well as give him some peace of mind, Steve adjusted his schedule in order to deliver the girl to cheer camp each afternoon. After long car rides with the windows down and the melodies of ABBA and Queen shaking his BMW's speakers, Steve would drop her off and help her inside the gym, making sure she was situated on the bleachers. Once the girl was settled, and after plenty of hushed reassurance, he would leave to pick up Robin, searching for any establishment with a "Now Hiring" sign hanging in the window. Despite her insistence on driving herself, Steve promised that he would rather spend time with her than be alone in his empty house. Neither of them actually admitted it, but their late mornings spent together proved for a genuinely good time between the two. Beverly was grateful, honestly, and expressed that in many different ways.

After the coworkers picked the blonde up from cheer, Steve dropped Robin off at her home. Beverly would continue riding with Steve back to his empty house and follow him up the driveway, leaving her bag in the car while the two trailed inside. They spent plenty of time together, sometimes laying around on the couch with the tv filling the void of silence, sometimes cooking in the otherwise unused kitchen, sometimes in Steve's bedroom, clothes discarded while Steve gently ran his hands over her healing body.

Their relationship was weird, to say the least. Neither of them had offered to place a title on it, but they were both diving head first into the duties of being with another person. Robin played mediator between the two, as she spent plenty of alone time with both parties. Although hesitant at first, she began urging Steve and Beverly for an official title.
This was when Beverly began to back away.

When school started in September, it was almost as if the girl had completely blocked Steve out. She focused heavily on her sport, now feeling able to step up to the duties of co-captaining the cheer squad with Chrissy Cunningham, and used that as an excuse to avoid seeing the Hawkins High alumni outside of school. Robin, having heard Steve's side from their many hours spent working together, prodded Beverly with questions about the status of her relationship with Steve. All of which, Beverly would dance around and move the topic into something else.

Despite it all, Steve tried to make it to every single game. Sure, it was under the guise of supporting his close friend and coworker in the band, but they both knew that the boy craved a glimpse of the cheerleader.

Back to April—back to the searing aching in her head. Beverly blamed it on spring, the changing of the season, the higher pollen count. Her nose was dry, that was why it bled between classes. It was the only explanation that made sense. She decided that her Spring Break would be spent indoors, detoxing from the warm weather that made her body beg to be put in a bikini.

Max had thrown open the bathroom door, finding Beverly staring at herself in the mirror with a similar red stain on her upper lip.

"You too?" The blonde asked, noting the start of a blood trail falling from the ginger's pointed nose. "God, this weather sucks." She added with a roll of her eyes, offering Max a clean tissue from the small travel pack she held in her hand.

Max cautiously took the white napkin from her and stood in silence beside the girl, dabbing and trace of imperfections from her face.

"Yeah," was all the younger girl added. "Thanks." She offered, giving the older girl, who was always friendly to her, a soft smile, one that no one had seen since the mall fire.

"Anytime." The cheerleader smiled, and she truly meant it. She would always have Max's back, despite her rough past with the girl's late stepbrother. The two girls had been through enough together for the casual interaction to be just that—a casual interaction.

"You... uh... excited for the pep rally?" The younger girl asked, the silence between them making her feel awkward, like she owed the older girl a conversation.
In response, Beverly rolled her eyes and pressed the tissue to her nose once more. The blonde turned away from the mirror and leaned against the sink, then turned her head to look at Max. "Am I ever." She said unenthusiastically. "Y'know, Jason's been up my ass about the squad, and it's really annoying to watch him and Chrissy just... rub it in my face. At least, that's what it feels like."

Max, unsure of how to respond, silently thanked the heavens when the bell rang. "Gotta head to class." She said, pointing up at the intercom system that ran through the ceilings of the school.

"Yeah, see you." Beverly replaced the annoyed look on her face with a cheery grin. Once she was alone in the bathroom, the facade fell, leaving the girl with a bunched up skirt and a tissue pressed up her nose.