IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU

𝟤.𝟤

Pep rallies were considered to be "warm-ups" for the game that followed later that evening, but Beverly treated every performance the same. Cheer was her passion, she enjoyed the tumbling, the flying, the teamwork, all of it. Another headache in the morning was chalked to poor sleep, and cured with a mug filled with hot, sweet coffee and a granola bar shoved into her cheer bag. She drove herself to Hawkins High School, wanting to be there early enough to get stretched and settled in. Beverly had to admit that she was disappointed when Robin did not answer her phone call, which meant she would have to face Steve Harrington yet again. She began to expect him, as her best friend had grown quite close with the boy, but that did not make facing him any easier. Beverly was ashamed. She had shown him a different side of her, but all signs of affection from Steve led to the memory of a tormented Billy staring at her as he took his last breath, the screams of his younger sister echoing in the burning mall lobby.

No, Steve was not Billy. In fact, she was sure that he could not be further away from Billy. Despite it all, her heart could not handle getting close to someone again so soon, just to watch him slip through her fingers, no hope of being saved. Beverly felt worthless, disgusted with herself for getting so close to the young man, allowing him inside of her heart. She had to stop it before it was too late, she had to save them both. After getting to know him, Beverly knew that the boy deserved more than what she could offer. She owed it not only to him, but to the hopeful girl she once was. Steve was great, he did not need any fixing, and a girl that was just as great would swoop in and save him from the detriment that came with being with Beverly Morris.

Beverly couldn't decide which part of her day was worse; Jason berating her as she entered the gym, chastising her for not having her hair up and her bow in at six in the morning, or spending the majority of her performance avoiding the half of the crowd that Robin was in, just to save herself the distressing looks from Steve Harrington.

Steve could tell the girl was in pain. Despite the toothy grin on her face, he could see the grimace that lied underneath at each contortion of her body. He admired her skill, the way she made quick, sharp movements while being tossed in the air, above the crowd and towards the rafters, only to land just as gracefully on the palms of the bases below her. There was no denying that the girl was talented, that was for sure. As she balanced on outstretched hands and kicked her leg into the air, catching her smooth calf between her hands, he could practically feel the pinch in the girl's side from the healed bones that had been bruised and fractured just months ago. Through it all, Beverly kept a smile on her face, calling out for a reaction from the crowd. It was quite impressive.

Even through Jason's grueling speech, where he named off the dead citizens of Hawkins, Indiana for the clout of the basketball team, or when he declared his never-ending love for his sweetheart, Chrissy, Steve could not bring himself to roll his eyes. If he did, he may lose precious moments of staring at the back of Beverly's blonde ponytail. He watched it sway with each movement of the girl, feeling as though more than gravity was keeping him tethered to her. Despair. Maybe that was the feeling. Seeing the girl without him felt odd, despite going his entire life without her. How could he forget about their summer, their shared pretzels, their car rides? How could he dismiss the shared looks while guitars blared through the car, shaking their bodies with each strum of the bass? How could he forget her soft skin, scattered with fading bruises? The answer was simple: he couldn't.

Beverly continued her day as normal, attending classes in her cheer uniform and popping a few pain relief pills in the bathroom during passing periods. She stayed after, as did the entire squad, basketball team, and band, to prepare for the game that would start later that evening. Throughout the day, she was praised and complimented on her performance by her peers and teachers, many of them saying that they couldn't wait to see her be tossed around at the game that evening, which gave the girl the motivation to make it through.