Niki and Andy

Chapter 22: Hiraeth

Ilang araw pa lang na wala si Andy pero ramdam na ramdam na ni Niki ang pag-iisa. His absence made her grow anxious. When the pandemic started, the future became uncertain. Her head would often be filled with worries about her own future. Lalo na at wala siyang trabaho. Lalo na at paubos ang ipon niya. Losing stability was taking its toll on her.

On the third morning since Andy left, Niki found herself crying in the morning. She had propped her phone on the drawer, like usual. Naka-full face makeup na siya. She already had her script memorized. And then, the little voice inside her head went, 'Why don't we commence the emotional breakdown today?' It was a beautiful day outside. Clear, blue sky. Mataas ang araw. Hindi masyadong maingay sa daan.

But Niki couldn't get out of her unit and go somewhere else because gala means gastos... at wala na siyang karapatang gumastos sa mga walang kapararakang bagay.

Hati-hati na ang pera niya hanggang February. She hated it. Ayaw na ayaw niyang kinukulang sa pera. Gusto niya yung siguridad na binibigay ng extra money. The thought that she still has something to pull out from her wallet or her card in case of an emergency.

Niki watched herself cry from the camera of her phone. And hated the thought that even with the breakdown, she was still thinking about how she should look while crying, and if it could make for a good content, and if it was enough to make her some body.

Groaning, she put the phone down and gathered her legs up on the chair to sob quietly.

"Meow."

She looked down at the sound she just heard. Ponkan was grazing the chair's legs with his whiskers. Tumingala ito sa kanya. "Meow." Ponkan blinked at her before jumping on the chair with his front paws.

She reached out to scratch the cat's chin. Ponkan closed his eyes to enjoy the scratches.

Ibinaba niya ang mga paa sa sahig para makasampa ito nang maayos sa kandungan niya. Ponkan jumped onto her lap and sat there while looking up at her. Hindi ito umiwas nang halikan niya ito sa tuktok.

Niki slowly reached to her phone and put it back on the handle. She turned the camera on and pressed record.

"So... I uh... I was faking a breakdown to see if Ponkan would offer me comfort and look!" She reduced her voice to a whisper. "He has never done this. My cat isn't heartless after all."

Suddenly, Ponkan jumped off, which made Niki laugh.

"And... he's gone." Kinuha niya ang phone at binaliktad ang camera view. Ponkan was walking around the room, occasionally looking back at her. "Ponkan!" tawag niya.

"Meow."

"Come back here. Mommy needs more comfort."

"Meow!"

Nagsimula itong tumakbo nang habulin niya. She followed the cat into Andy's bedroom, where he quickly climbed the cat tree on the corner. Pumunta ito sa pinakang taas at tumitig sa kanya habang papalapit siya.

Ponkan stood up when she tried reaching out to him.

"You want a treat?"

"Meow..."

Itinikom niya ang palad, para kunwari ay may laman iyon. Lumapit siya sa pusa. Ponkan was curiously waiting for her to reveal the content of her hand, even giving it a sniff. When she opened her palm to reveal nothing, Ponkan began smacking it.

Thankfully, Ponkan didn't use his claws.

Niki ended the recording while laughing. She was glad Andy didn't take Ponkan with him. Mababaliw siguro siya kung siya lamang mag-isa ang nandoon. Ponkan might not be able to comfort her when she was feeling sad, but at least he could distract her from being sad.