Luna

Chapter 5

"What were you two doing?" he snapped at Jeremy

"Nothing much sir" I could tell that he was trying hard to control his temper as he always told me that if he came across my dad, he might end up behind bars for first degree murder. I looked at Dad who looked at Jeremy and seemed to be contemplating as to whether to lunge at or shrug it away as his hand tightened on my arm.

"Cut the crap!'' he yelled at Jeremy ''You better stay away from my daughter if you know what's good for you'' he didn't give him time to respond as he turned around and walked towards the house while grabbing me and pulling me along. I looked at Jeremy who looked like he wanted to go all undertaker on my dad, I shook my head and held a hand over my mouth motioning him to keep quiet. As dad led me in the house, he threw me on the coach and went to slam the door shut. He stood in in front of me and shook his head in disgust at me, I looked down at my hands in embarrassment.

''What were you doing with that boy!'' he yelled so hard that I jumped and looked at his now enraged face, I couldn't answer him, for I knew that if I said something, I might make matters worse.

''That boy wants nothing but what's between your legs Luna, how could you be so stupid to fall for such a boy, didn't I teach you better? Huh? he will just dump you the moment he finishes between your legs'' he said as he walked over to the fridge.

''You are wrong'' I heard myself say. As I looked at him, he froze in his tracks. I knew I was finished, but Jeremy was not like that, he will never do that, he never tried to do that to me. Dad turned and walked up to me, he grabbed my arm as he hauled me up into a standing position. I could smell his stale beer stained breath slapping my nose.

''You listen here; he is no different than me'' he shook me hard in his tight grip '' he will just discard you like the trash you already are'' he spat at me. My heart twisted in pain and as I looked into his eyes trying to see a hint of mercy, I saw only burning anger.

I pulled myself out of his tight grip and held my chin up as I faced him. ''Jeremy loves, unlike you''

''Love?'' he clapped his hands dramatically together as he laughed maniacally ''That son of a bitch doesn't love you, he will use you. You will turn into a whore like your blasted mother and run away with men''

''Don't say that about mom!'' I yelled at him, nostrils flaring ''have some respect'' I whispered to myself, hoping he didn't hear me. He scoffed as he held my chin in his big hand and pulled me to face him.

''Respect? Your whore of a mother lost my respect the moment she walked out that door with another man and left you with me'' he squeezed my chin in his hands ''I am the only one that loves you, nobody but me, you hear me! I could have thrown you away if I knew you would try and do this to me'' he yelled at me

''You never loved me'' I closed my eyes and fired back '' whenever you look at me, you would always see mom in me''

''That's not true'' he said "I love you, you are my daughter''

''Dad, how many times have you crept in my room and sat on my bed, you would always mutter how I look like her and how you wished you never got involved with her'' as I said that he suddenly let go of me and moved away in shock as he held a hand over his mouth, anger was now replaced with shock. He shook his head abruptly as though it was hard to believe.

''No, you are lying'' he finally said '' You don't know what you are saying.''

''It's all true dad, I once heard you telling uncle Jack, how you regret having me in your life, you said I was a burden sent from hell!'' I yelled at him as tears trailed down my face but I wiped them away, I didn't want him to see how much it hurt to know that your own dad regrets ever being your dad. ''Face it dad, you never loved me'' I spat at him

''I raised you to be the woman that you are today, so you owe me, you are nothing without me!'' he yelled

''Nothing? dad look at me'' I unzipped my jacket to show him my arms with different bruises ''look at me dad, am I something now? All my life, my body was like your stress reliever. You would try to find ways to punish me, even for small things''

''To make you strong!''

''Oh come on dad! give me a break and you thought beatings made me strong? news flash old man,They sure as hell made me strong, but hey made me loathe the day I opened my eyes and saw your face.'' I said, not regretting what I said. He raised his hand as though to slap me.

''Go ahead dad, be my guest. It's what you are good at aren't you?''

His hand froze mid-air as he stared at me in astonishment. ''And you say mom left you for another man'' I said as I walked towards him ''probably from your abuse that you call love'' I narrowed my eyes at him.

''You know nothing, so you better shut your damn mouth.'' He growled

''I know enough, as a child I always wanted to please you and to make you proud of me but....'' I said shakily as old memories my childhood hit me ''Was it so hard to love me? For all a child wanted was a father's love, but you were a demented man who abused me, many a times I had debated dialling 911, but Miss Cornrow advised against it. Even I couldn't bare seeing you in handcuffs because you were my father!'' finally having said enough I went and sat on the couch, exhausted emotionally and both physically from all the pain that I endured in my father's hands.