VIVIDWords | AkiToya (Project Sekai)

Him {5}

Standing in line at the bookstore was, frankly, embarrassing as all hell. Akito could feel the occasional stares on him as he tightly gripped the book in his hands, unfamiliar with his surroundings. He hadn't been inside that mall in years, let alone in that specific store since Toya. Since before he left. He hadn't even went to any type of store since he abandoned them, had he?

He looked down at the name sprawled onto the top, a feeling akin to doubt developing in his lower stomach. He wasn't sure where exactly it came from, what it could be labeled as, but part of him didn't believe- didn't want to believe- that anything had changed.

Hesitance.

Maybe that was an accurate description, hesitance to accept the future. Hesitance.

It did feel nice to be able to properly describe something for once. To understand anything he felt, regardless of how unfamiliar the actual idea of understanding was.

He wordlessly checked out the book, almost aggressively pulling it away from the cashier as the process finished. He quickly thanked her before rushing out, glancing around for somewhere to stop. He had lost all sense of familiarity or memory regarding the landscape a while ago, no matter how familiar it felt. Something, though, caught his eye after a minute standing there.

Miori's Café.

The memory of that place was faint, too blurry to remember any proper details about it, whether those supposed details be the food or the design, he remembered it from one of Toya's incidents.

What absolutely was clear in his otherwise messy, unclear memories was squid9. Those days of pure panic and worry, before he abruptly replied to his messages of spam and concern. How normal he seemed at that café, albeit too concentrated on his fanfictions, as though it was a completely normal occurrence. Maybe it had been. That's what concerned Akito the most, the idea he had always been like that.

It might be a good place to relax and read, wouldn't it? He was fairly certain it was at least somewhat peaceful, anyways, if not a bit vibrant in color.
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His neglected pancakes laid beside him as he peered down into the book, his mind being filled with hazy nostalgia at the writer's style. He was fond of it, a fan of it, he still was after all this time, he always would be.

...
Right.
The book.
Why was reading so difficult?

"'My prince, we'll find your father,' he said softly. There wasn't any true type of meaning within those words, rather just said for the sake of comfort. The prince already knew that, but there was still a sense of relief behind the emptiness nonetheless.'"

The words seemed to scream Toya, the warmth of any of it being him overwhelming.

He hated how much he still loved the blue haired boy. It felt unnatural to still be in love with someone after three years of no contact, it felt wrong. It was wrong.

He sighed, shaking his head as he looked back down at the story, taking a quick glance at his almost entirely untouched pancakes. He didn't have an appetite, he rarely did whenever his mind was focused on something. That being said, he never had an appetite when he was upset either, which was becoming more and more frequent every passing day.

He heard the door bells' occasionally ringing as his head remained lowered, a sense of excitement enveloping him, warmth flooding him entirely. Even with the stares he knew where there, the occasional muttering that threatened to whisk away his attention, the book had completely taken hold of him. It was quite unusual for the ginger, however that didn't matter. That prior embarrassment completely disappeared.