Taking Control

Chapter 4

So often times it happens

that we live our lives in chains

And we never even know we have the key.

- The Eagles, Already Gone

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Chapter 4

Over the next two weeks I spent more time playing the guitar than doing anything else. I was obsessed. Every day after class I would hide out under my favorite tree in the park and play my acoustic until my fingers were numb. I hadn't seen Jason since our date, and I could tell he was a little confused by why I seemed so busy. I used dance team practices as an excuse for my busy schedule. And even though he didn't say as much, I knew he was getting restless not seeing me. The longest we usually went was about a day or two.

Luke met up with me once since our last lesson and we worked on basic technique. He seemed slightly upset that I didn't need him as much as he expected, because I was basically teaching myself. There wasn't much left that he needed to teach me though. Musicality came too easily to me. It was like second nature. I didn't need to learn, I just understood. Still, practice makes perfect and I found that the more I played, the more in tune I was to the instrument. Despite just starting, I could hear how far I had come in only two weeks.

Sitting under the tree that was beginning to feel like my second home, I leaned back against the trunk with the guitar comfortably in my lap. I was listening to my iPod with only one earphone in, learning the song Hallelujah by ear. I discovered this was easier than reading sheet music. I could hear how sound progressed and be able to mimic the chords this way. I had the song on repeat, allowing my fingers to memorize their movements.

The feeling the guitar gave me was like nothing else. I felt so content within myself. It was an elation that spread through my skin, making me overwhelmingly happier. It's not as if I was miserable or certifiably depressed before, but there definitely had been something significant missing in my life. And I had found it. I didn't realize it until that night when I made this deal with Luke, but I needed music in my life. It meant everything to me.

I was a little bothered by the fact that I couldn't share this with anyone other than Luke. It was strange that something that meant so much to me was a secret to everyone I knew. But for a reason that I couldn't explain to even myself, keeping this a secret seemed to be my only option.

My eyes squinted down at the strings, focused on the movement of my fingers. I was so close to having the song memorized. I played the song repeatedly, and eventually I shut off my iPod and played it alone. My mind was so lost to the music that the lyrics began to escape my mouth, so I was playing and singing along without even realizing it. I was so caught up that I didn't notice the person standing in front of me until they cleared their throat loudly.

"Do you even see me standing here?" Luke's voice jolted me out of my reverie and my head snapped up. He stood in front of me, arms crossed with a small smile gracing his face.

"It's not my fault. You snuck up on me!" I defended myself jokingly.

"I've been here for almost ten minutes, Scarlett."

"Oh. Um, sorry?" I said awkwardly, not sure what he wanted me to say. I didn't see ya, sorry dude. His smile grew, this time mocking my stupid response. He sat down in the grass across from me, leaning on his elbows.

"What version of Hallelujah was that?"

"Kate Voegele's. I like Jeff Buckley's the best but I wanted to learn her cover."

He nodded, accepting my answer. "So how long have you been here? I tried calling you." Luke asked, changing the subject. The look on his face however, made it seem that he wanted to say something more important.