One Last Dance | R. Grayson

[07] Hero Complex

Erica and Richard had come out to the living room after she made sure that he had had a proper breakfast. With warm cups of coffee in their hands, they sat on the couch by the window that offered a view of the street and the small pocket garden the previous owner had maintained.

Richard didn't mind her company. He was glad she had come over because her presence served as a sufficient distraction from his worrisome thoughts earlier.

They had eased into talking about their lives, and it was different from the small talk they had often engaged in before. Rushing through their busy lives, they seemed to have found a resting point that afternoon in each other's company. And in that short break, they were getting to know more than a small talk could unravel about the other.

From hobbies to personal motivations, their conversation had taken a deep but interesting turn. Erica was observant of the people she got close to so right then, she was observing Richard subconsciously as they resumed the conversation.

She could see that he was the sort of person who thrived in an atmosphere that valued him and that habit of his often made him go out of his way to stay the center of everyone's admiration.

She didn't think it was in an egotistical way though. Richard didn't crave attention, he thrived in it but he didn't run after it. Instead, he craved love, support, friendship, and trust.

It was a rather endearing quality in him and set him apart from the other people she had met or gotten close to over the years.

But she also knew that habit could land him in trouble as he always did so much for everyone that he ended up neglecting himself.

"Doesn't it get too much sometimes?" Her eyes refused to let go of him, binding him to stay close to her, "you don't have to do everything you're asked to."

"Gary tells me the same," he replied softly, "he says I have a hero complex and maybe he is right."

"So you want to save everyone?" She asked but it sounded more like a statement, as if she had judged that for herself by then.

"I try," he replied, looking at her with a slight smile, "that's mainly the reason I joined the police department. Things were twice worse in Gotham than they are here so I thought of playing my part in helping people in any way I could. To me, the job of a police officer seemed most fitting."

There was a while of silence between them until she asked the question that had settled in her heart, "You said things were worse in Gotham so shouldn't you have stayed there?"

As soon as she asked that, she felt him stiffen and a reserved mask spread over his features. His relaxed demeanor from earlier had changed into a look of caution as if he didn't want to go down that route of conversation.

Perhaps that question was too personal and she shouldn't have gone that far.

"I... I had a falling out with my family. So I left not to make things any worse between us."

It was more than just a falling out, Richard sighed softly, feeling the pain that had resurfaced upon thinking about everything that had happened in Gotham right before he decided to leave. He was no stranger to losing loved ones but realizing that the person he looked up to most didn't trust him enough to spare him the trouble of going through such a painful heartbreak hurt worse. 

"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." She looked concerned and apologetic at the same time, not wanting to bother him with intrusive questions.

He smiled, burying away that tinge of sadness that stabbed his heart still, "It's alright, Erica."

That was the first time he had called her by name without being prompted to do so. And for that very reason, it made a smile linger on Erica's face. The lack of formality between them surely felt like a positive step, a mutual understanding to acknowledge each other as friends.

Or perhaps even more, if fate would allow it.

At that thought, his gaze flickered to her ring finger but that day she wasn't wearing the thin metal band he had seen on her finger that Thanksgiving dinner with the Jones family.

"I feel like I have been talking about myself this whole time," he changed the topic, his blue eyes focusing on her as a soft smile lingered on his face.

"Well, because you're very interesting and I like hearing more about you," she remarked. 

"But I would love to hear about you too," he prompted.

Her cheeks tingled at that remark but she attempted to disguise it as she shook her head, "I don't have much to say for myself. I am just an artist, content with everything I have in my life."

He raised an eyebrow, "Really? You are content with everything you have in life?"

"Of course I am, what else could I wish for?"

Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds but Erica felt a strange fluttery feeling in her heart at the questioning look he had given her. It seemed as if he wanted to know her perspective on life.

"You know what they say, humans can never be content. There is always something we wish for even if our life is seemingly perfect," he resumed in his gentle voice.

"What do you wish for then?" She asked.

"I wish for a lot of things but mostly I wish that I can play my part for the good of this city. To save everyone I can," his reply was quick and thought out as if he had given it a lot of thought earlier as well. "What about you?"

"I... I don't know," she replied after a pause. 

What could she need from her life? She had thought she had everything.

"You'll figure it out," he replied, a smile creasing his features, "I know you weren't expecting me to turn everything philosophical all of a sudden but this is one question that has always intrigued me."

She nodded but his words had stirred up the thoughts within her. Unanswered questions peeked through the facade of self-contention she wore each day.

She voiced out the question in her heart at last, "What difference does it make if you know what you want from your life?" 

He leaned closer, blue eyes staring softly in her light irises, "Well for starters, you start working towards achieving your goal. And it makes getting that thing twice easier."

And in that moment, Erica realized something she had never thought of before.

She had everything in life except love. That could be the only thing she needed in her life but was intentionally not accepting it.

***