One Last Dance | R. Grayson

[17] Pain And Guilt

After a tiring day working for the Bludhaven Police Department, Richard couldn't wait to get home. His landlady had called to let him know that Jason had received the keys from her, so he didn't want to keep the boy waiting any longer than necessary.

As soon as he got free, he made a quick stop at a Chinese restaurant, picked up Jason's favorite dish for dinner, and then drove off to his apartment. Since he knew Jay would be inside, he didn't use his keys and rang the doorbell instead.

Shortly after, the door opened, revealing a rather exuberant Jason Todd, who had launched himself onto Richard in a tight hug immediately.

He was expecting that as he laughed, "Hey, I brought dinner. It will get squished."

Richard ruffled his head affectionately as he let go, handing him the takeout box. Jay's eyes lit up instantly, "Chinese takeout? Is this what I think it is?"

"See for yourself," he replied, happy to be with his younger brother after such a long time.

He wanted to make his stay in Bludhaven enjoyable, but he was unaware that Jason hadn't come alone. That revelation came when the boy set three plates on the table instead of two.

Noticing Richard's surprise, he approached him with a slightly uncertain look, "Um, I brought someone along... I should have asked, but then I thought we could keep it a surprise."

Judging by Jason's reluctance to tell him, he knew it was probably someone he didn't want to meet. A soft sigh escaped Richard as he shook his head. "Please tell me you didn't bring Bruce."

"Bruce? What? No..."

"Then?"

"I brought Barbara," he replied, and the room went silent.

His brow furrowed and his lips pressed tightly together. His eyes flickered toward the sound of wheels moving against the floor, seeing Barbara who had just entered the living room.

He retrieved his gaze from hers, refusing to make eye contact. The reason behind his refusal to meet her green eyes wasn't guilt but the dejection of a betrayed confidant.

They had been partners in arms for such a long time but the trust between them had worn thin after the previous year's devastating events. Even seeing her in front of him rekindled the pain that he had wished to leave behind in Gotham the day he left the city.

"Richard," she tried to talk to him but her voice faltered, seeing a stone cold facade engulf him completely.

She had seldom seen him angry or frustrated but she knew that when he was driven to that state, he turned completely unapproachable.

"I guess this was a bad idea..." Jason mumbled, observing the tension and the heavy silence between them.

"Terrible idea," Richard remarked, much to their surprise.

He was trying to keep himself composed as he didn't want to make a scene just when Jason had come to see him after a whole year of staying apart.

"I asked Jason to take me, thinking it would be better to talk this out face to face," Barbara spoke up, breaking the awkward silence, "he's not at fault. I shouldn't have come, sorry."

At that explanation, his cold blue eyes finally pierced through Barbara's striking green. "Is something left to talk out between us?" But then he scoffed at his own words, his voice turning bitter, "Now, there's no us either."

"Richard, I..." She looked as if she wanted to say a lot but Jason's presence was restricting her. The boy still had no idea about the real reason that caused Richard's estrangement from the family.

But before Jason could offer to leave the room and give them privacy, Richard put an end to the awkward conversation. "I brought takeout and it must need reheating. I don't want to talk about anything right now, so it's better we don't waste the food and have dinner."

However, it was clear by the iciness of his tone that he hadn't forgiven Barbara nor was he going to give her a chance to explain her side of the story just yet.

Instead of the cheerful dinner Richard had thought of having with his younger brother, the three sat in silence, barely eating as the crushing weight of all those unspoken words had dried their appetites.

After dinner, Richard silently took the dishes to the kitchen, refusing Jay's help as well. Barbara sat there in a mix of helplessness and disappointment, the sound of the running tap water from the kitchen sink as Richard washed the dishes did nothing to quell her spiraling thoughts.

She really shouldn't have come to Bludhaven. It ruined Jason's trip as well, she thought.

Perhaps she should have let more time pass before approaching him. But then it had been more than a year already and it seemed time wasn't the only ointment Richard needed to move on from the past.

He spent half an hour in the kitchen, painstakingly ignoring Barbara. Even Jason felt rather awful as he hadn't known the impact of suggesting Barbara to come to Bludhaven on a whim.

He hadn't even expected things would be so severely off between Richard and Barbara. In all his time with the Waynes, he had seen the two quarrel and banter with each other but none of their arguments had blown up to an alarming proportion.

None except the one that resulted from Barbara's supposed death, Bruce's decision to keep her survival a secret and a miscarriage that most of the family didn't even know about.

Jason suspected there was much more concealed behind Richard and Barbara's breakup than he was told. But he couldn't talk to either of them about it as it would put him in a very awkward position.

To him, it seemed he was standing on the thin line that separated two landmines that could explode any moment.

Finally, Richard emerged from the kitchen, but he was still strained toward them. He looked at Jason as he was unfolding the sleeves that he had pulled up to wash the dishes. "I have a small apartment so you can stay in my room and your guest can take the spare room for the time being."

The words cut through Barbara as he didn't even address her by name. But she couldn't say anything to him as the guilt churned her heart. She had taken him for granted and now that she had lost him, she couldn't do anything but resent her mistake.

Richard had loved her fiercely but betrayal and the lack of trust on her side had damaged him so much so that she could hardly recognize him to be the same person who adored her.

He picked his jacket from the couch and headed toward the door, taking his car keys from the shelf.

"Where are you going?" Jason asked, a hint of concern lacing his voice.

"Out," he replied vaguely.

The boy hesitated but then asked, "Will you come back tonight?"

He paused in the doorway, his hand reaching out to the door handle. A dejected sigh passed his lips and he lowered his head, "Honestly, Jay, I don't know."

***