Roses

Chapter 2

Zoey

I have always identified my home town with my parents. But maybe it is time to change that. In all honesty, Roses hadn't been the massive let-down during my childhood. My parents' supremely failed marriage had been.

Maybe I need a fresh start. Maybe the phone call about the house is a sign from the universe. Or maybe, I just want to be close to my mother in some way.

A reminder that she had lived and I had been so loved once.

I get out of the shower with a determined mind. I dress for bed and for the first time in a long while, find myself drifting off to sleep actually looking forward to the next day.

The next two days go by in a blur. I settle my apartment rent and salary at the pharmacy. Most of the furniture came with the place so I don't bother doing anything with it, and the rest I sell to my landlord, deciding they held absolutely zero emotional value in my eyes and I had no wish to take them. I donate some of my clothes and personal belongings so the rest can be packed in two large suitcases and a duffle bag.

"When does your bus leave again?" Jack asks, his speech a little slurred from all the beer he chugged down. He wanted to throw me a huge farewell party with all his friends. But considering I don't know them that well and he is the only one I really want to say goodbye to, I invited him over on my last night in New York.

"Tomorrow morning. Nine o'clock," I reply, cleaning out my refrigerator.

"Arnie came by the shop earlier today," he says, watching me keenly for my reaction. But it's a waste really. I don't even have to try to keep a straight face. I know I'm leaving New York and Arnie behind. "He wanted to apologize to you."

"It's over between us, Jack. There is no going back. Not to mention I'm leaving and he's staying here." I take a swig from the can I'm holding as if the bitter liquid can also wash down the guilt creeping up my insides.

Arnie was nowhere close to an ideal boyfriend, but he was all I had. To be walking away from him without even so much as saying 'bye' seems almost heartbreaking. I know I am allowed to be mad at him. Hell, I should be mad at him! But I don't feel anything. Probably because he never had my heart to begin with. So if I never truly loved him, is what he did really such a bad thing?

"I know. I told him that," Jack mumbles, pulling me from my thoughts. "But he didn't seem to believe me when I said you were actually going back to your hometown."

It isn't a surprise. I didn't tell him everything about my childhood, but he knew enough to assume Roses was catching dust in my past. Never to be visited again by me.

"He'll probably come by again." Jack takes a long sigh, as if the drama in my love life is causing him trouble.

"Just repeat what you already told him. Eventually he'll give up." Everybody does, is what I want to tuck in there but instead I keep my mouth shut.

"Hmm." Jack closes his eyes and I think he's about to fall asleep when he suddenly opens them back again. "Why are you going really, Zoey?"

"I think I need a fresh start, Jack." I make my way back to where he is sitting in my living room and sit beside him. "I got a call from my father's lawyer a couple days ago. I don't remember much about what happened to our house..... when my father's case started." I take a pause, noting that I'm still not comfortable talking about my father's crime out loud. Not even to someone like Jack who actually knows everything. "But apparently it was seized by the government or something. For 'investigation purposes'." I make air quotation marks to let him know I hadn't the first clue about it. "And now after all this time, it has been cleared. They asked my father if he wanted someone to have it. He named me."