What Happened?

Facing Reality

As she walked off, Daniella didn't think much about the incident with Anna, and just continued on with the day as usual until school ended. You see, Daniella had no intention whatsoever to act rude to Anna on purpose. She stayed quiet and emotionless during their interaction, for she was too weak to fake a smile, and was too ashamed to try fooling someone who had such a genuine one. A few years back maybe she would have cared enough to smile, and possibly even a couple more years before that her smile could have been real.

Those few years back was when Anna just started counseling to help her mild depression, but the counseling had in fact worsened her condition by making her only friends fear her for her differences. Over time she had been able to stop counseling by faking her recovery with forced grins, and an artificially positive attitude. Just two years later her insomnia began, but she knew she couldn't tell her parents or it was back to that prison called psychological therapy. However, with her decision to keep her problems to herself, her mental health had deteriorated immensely leaving just a shell of her original self behind. This forced her to put on a facade in front of everyone around her.

Later, Daniella returns home after another dull day of school. While she lays limp on her bed like a dead body, Daniella reminiscences of a time when she truly was happy, so long ago it almost feels like a dream. Before long, she finally drags herself out of bed, and into her surprisingly still damp bathroom. After finishing her shower she dries her wet hair when something catches her attention in the corner of her eye. She ignores it and continues to prepare for bed. Yet, she begins to feel the object reaching out to her as if it was calling her name. The calling was sounding like a lonely soul lost in the overworld. Daniella. Daniella. She could hear the object whispering to her.

Never. Danny knew how it could turn from a harmless act to a serious addiction, yet she was curious. She knew how it was both physically and mentally dangerous, but the shining razor looked so tempting. She mindlessly grabs the razor and slices her wrist, not too deep but deep enough for her thick, dark blood to ooze out. She repeats the action for a couple more times, awed by the art she had created on her arm with a single tool.

Suddenly, the realization hits Danny like a ton of bricks. She's cutting herself and that beautiful red liquid isn't paint, but the vital fluid keeping her alive. She quickly washes the blood off her forearms, and the razor. She then wipes her wrists as dry as possible. While doing this she tells herself that if she wants to be happy like in her memories, she needs to control herself. Surprisingly, these few words of encouragement gets her through the night with her sleeping undisturbed for the first time in months.

"Don't be late! Don't be late!" Anna chanted to herself as she rushes into the school's bathroom.

"Don't panic. You still have fifteen minutes until the bell rings," some girl says as Anna hears her walk toward the sinks and herself.

"Thanks," Anna politely says in response even though she doesn't know who she's addressing her appreciation to. As she struggles to tame the dirty blonde monster on her head -that was her hair- she learns it was Daniella who had reassured her. Anna smiles to herself as Daniella pulls up her shirt's sleeves. It took asking over half the freshmen and all the teachers in school, but Anna finally got the mystery girl's name. (She had also learned the names that her own classmates had called Daniella for as long as she was at the school, like "the loner" and nicer ones like "Danny.") Knowing Daniella's name made Anna feel satisfied because she felt that knowing everyone's name helped more people accept her in the school. Succeeding at her goal made her smile even brighter and wider than before.

However, her smile wavers when she sees through her peripheral vision, scratches on Daniella's wrist as she washes her hands at a sink near to Anna. At first, she denies her original assumptions and tries to think positively. Cats can be such a pain when they scratch. Yet, as Anna begins to think more of all the names Daniella is called and how deep the "scratches" were, she finally realizes. The smile normally plastered onto her face is gone and fear and panics clouds her thoughts.