Agent Alina- Eggsy unwin

10- Funny Story (Valentine is Onto Us)

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatin
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind

-Killer Queen- Queen

-

Thinking that Harry had already gone out with Eggsy to show him the rest of Kingsman, Alina sat in her room at home. She put her vinyl record in her turntable and turned the volume as high as it would go, dancing happily throughout the space while she cleaned up.

Not realising that Harry and Eggsy were standing at the door. They were going to ask her if she wanted to go to the tailors with them, but they chose to watch as she freely danced her heart out.

Eggsy thought her moves were a mix of hilarious and endearing, but he couldn't help but find them absolutely adorable.

As Alina spun and twirled, Eggsy's heart fluttered with each clumsy step. He had always found Alina charming, but seeing her dance with such genuine joy made Eggsy's feelings grow even stronger.

Alina suddenly turned around to find the two staring at her.

Caught off guard, Alina jumped back, startled by their sudden appearance. She hadn't expected to be caught.

All three laughed it off, with Alina slightly flustered, she agreed to go with the two- following them out of the house.

"Sick moves." Eggsy teased as they made their way down the stairs.

"Shut up, Eggsy." Alina laughed.

-

"So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?" Eggsy asked, walking down the street with the other two.

"Don't be absurd. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. It's about being at ease in one's own skin. As Hemingway said, There is nothing noble... in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self." Harry explained.

"Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit." Alina spoke up.

"By which she means, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not, you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman." All three made their way into the shop.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting. Fitting Room Two is available." The worker spoke as Harry was about to open the door to the fitting room.

"One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry." Alina and Eggsy exchanged eye contact and giggles by Harry's words.

"Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait."Alina's smile grew, she knew he's going to love this room.

"So we going up or down?" He asked, all three trying to fit in the small space.

"Neither."

"Is this it?"

"Of course not. Pull the hook on your left." As he did that, the wall became a door- opening to a whole variety of weapons and devices.

"Oh, yes.Very, very nice." Eggsy smiled.

"You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing.This additional decorative piece is called broguing."

"Oxfords not brogues."

"Words to live by, Eggsy. Words to live by. Try a pair." Harry handed over a pair for him to put on.

"Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way." Harry spoke, making Eggsy click his mouth at the compliment.

"These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol. It's quite unique, as you'll see. It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations."

"How do they feel?"Alina asked, sitting down next to Eggsy.

"Yeah, good."

"Now do your very best impersonation of a German aristocrat's formal greeting." Harry requested. Not knowing what he meant, Eggsy just did the Nazi salute sign.

"No, Eggsy." Harry sighed, Alina gigged at the boys actions.

Harry showed him the right way to do it, Eggsy copying.

"That is sick." He smiled down at the knife coming out of his shoe.

"In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well." Alina added.

"How do I get it back in?"

"Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... so very carefully." Harry pushed the knife back in using the wall.

"Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering. A poison, harmless when ingested...
but at a time convenient to you...
can be remotely activated. Primed."

"Lethal." Alina added with a smile.

"What about these? What do these do? Electrocute you?" He asked picking up what looked to be a golden lighter.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's a hand grenade."

"Shut up." He said, in disbelief.

"If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. Touch the contact behind the ring... it delivers 50,000 volts."

"And what about them? What makes them so special?" He points over to the opposite side of the room. Eggsy sneaking the hand grande in his pocket.

"Nothing. That technology has caught up with the spy world." Harry began to leave the room, Alina following behind.

"Put it back, Eggsy." Alina spoke as she left.

"Perfect timing. The gentleman's just finished." The worker spoke.

"Mr. DeVere! What a coincidence.
You are totally the reason I'm here. When you left my house...
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on. And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...
and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... here I am." Valentine spoke, the air soon getting tense.

"This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. And this is my assistant." Harry lied.
"Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal?"

"Most definitely. My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. I guarantee it." Eggsy was getting nervous, grabbing Alina's hand in the search for comfort.

"A word of advice. Ascot requires top hat. I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. Saint James's."

""Lox" as in smoked fish?" He questioned.

"As in, "locked up."" Alina chimed in.

"I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes. You all talk so funny." Valentine spoke, leaving the tailors.

"Alina, would you look after him, please?" Harry said, rushing off to the cab.

Alina waited outside the fitting room until he was done, trying not to overthink about the Valentine situation.

After he was done, she walked him back to the mansion, leaving him there as she headed back home.