Their relationship terrorizes my brain
Shawn: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.
Lizzie: You are literally making a Valentine's day card for Blu.
Shawn, pointing his hot glue gun towards Lizzie: You're on thin fucking ice.
\
Shawn: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Blu a little bit.
Lizzie, holding Shawn's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Shawn: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Lizzie: My mistake.
\
Blu: Hi.
Shawn: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell them?
Blu: I did.
Shawn: And what did she say?
Blu: "Thank you."
Shawn: You're totally welcome. What'd she say?
Blu: She said, "Thank you." I said "I love you" and Lizzie said, "Thank you."
\
Lizzie: Is this your plan B?
Shawn: Technically, this is plan P.
Lizzie: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Shawn: Yes, but I marry Blu in plan M.
Blu: I like plan M.
\
Lizzie: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.
Lizzie: It's my turn to cuddle Blu.
Shawn: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!
\
Blu: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Shawn: Yes?
Blu: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.
Shawn: Fuck.
Blu: It's gonna be a fun week!
Shawn: I'm going to Lizzie's house.
Blu: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker!
\
Shawn: You need a hobby.
Blu: I have a hobby! S
hawn: Fawning over Lizzie isn't a hobby.
\
Lizzie: So you're dating Blu?
Shawn: What? No! I'm just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.
Lizzie: That's literally a wedding ring.
\
Blu: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Shawn recently.
Lizzie: No, Blu, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Blu: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Lizzie: No! You're the only one for me.
Blu: Is that so?
Lizzie: I promise! Shawn and I are just dating, okay? They're my partner.
Blu: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Lizzie: You are still my one and only best friend! They're just the love of my life, nothing more!
Blu: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?
Lizzie: Of course bro!
Blu: Bro... Shawn: What the- that's not platonic?!
\
Lizzie: That was so hot, Blu.
Blu: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
Lizzie: I'm so in love with you.
\
Shawn: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Blu: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Shawn: Stop.
\
Blu: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Lizzie: Peonies, why?
Blu:
Lizzie: Were you going to get me flowers?
Blu:
Lizzie:
Blu: ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
\
Lizzie: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Shawn: Hi.
Lizzie: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
\
Lizzie: Did it hurt when you fell-
Blu: From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-
Lizzie: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
Blu: ...
Lizzie: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
\
Blu: Talk dirty to me~
Shawn: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Blu: Wha- Shawn: The economy is in shambles.
Fun fact: Blu was originally going to be a ghost because of that one quote from earlier chapters.
Blu was going to be called Aster and be a purple bird
Lizzie is a full on "love at first sight" for both of them. Same with Blu
Shawn was "crush at first sight" for both, except he denies it.
Blu isn't legally married to them because it's "too complicated to do two, so you two get married and I'll be the homewrecker"
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories of the Garden
General FictionOneshots of my own characters. this will include many AUs of my favorite OC, because i'm easily entertained as long as i have new material at my fingertips. It will also include short stories featuring Untitled Story. The book will become better po...
