Exploring Sorrow

Prologue

Two years ago I had a boyfriend. Bentley was his name, Bentley and Seraphim, lovers, but to our families, we were the best of friends. That was my first long term relationship, my first real love and connection. He committed about a month later, I never saw it coming, he was always so happy and energetic.

Night after night I couldn't sleep, I was too caught up in my grief and emotions to even care for myself. That was a dark time for me, it would be for anyone. But as the prince of Zozar and heir to the throne, it was my duty to push my grief down and put on a welcoming smile to fool my parents and the rest of the country. Although sometimes I reflect on those days and think that I wasn't just faking it to convince my parents, but also to convince myself.

During those awful times I had my childhood best friend, Rosetta. I also had Atticus, who I met the month after Bentley died. Both Atticus and Rosetta were the reason I'm still here today and didn't lose myself to the grief.

Over time I realised something about Atticus, I wanted him to be there for me, but not only as a friend. I wanted to hold his hand, have heavy makeout sessions whilst listening to romantic classical music on my record player. I was experiencing a grief I never thought I would get over, I never thought I could move on from Bentley. But I did. I knew I couldn't. Even though when I asked him out he said yes, I still couldn't do those things unless we were home alone or at his house, which was never. My parents didn't like queer people, so when I came out to them they literally just shut me down and pushed it aside. They didn't approve of me being gay, and they definetly wouldn't approve of me dating a middle-class boy who worked on a farm with his mother.

I am Seraphim Elms, a human being who is entitled to his own life. Although my parents thought otherwise. I couldn't even leave the house without a guard, let alone have a life the way I want it.

As long as I have Rosetta and Atticus though, I'll be just fine.