Bound to love |BxB|

Chapter 11

Atticus' POV
____________________

I couldn't deny it anymore.

I had a crush.

A stupid, high-school kind of naive infatuation that made me want to vomit.

I didn't understand why or how, but there wasn't any point in spurning it with other nonsense reasons either. I couldn't deny that he had me feeling things that I had never felt and that he wasn't like everyone else I had ever seen. He had awoken a whole new side of me, no matter how I had tried to reconcile it as something else.

I spent the whole morning trying too.

At first, I tried to explain these feelings with the same excuse I had been using the whole time, which was the standard basis for my unhealthy need to sleep around. But that reasoning was abolished to the grounds the second I reminisced last night. How I had melted in his touch, that sweet, sweet touch. His fingers in my hair, gently grazing my curls, and his hands wrapped around me protectively– I had never been a fan of that shit but right now... I craved for him, and not like I did for any other. I wanted to hear him laugh, see him smile, and above all, I wanted to make love to him. Not just a quick fuck and then out of the door, but...

Something else.

I wanted to spend a whole night studying his body, leave behind soothing marks, and kiss him until he'd be all I tasted. I wanted to treat him with care, and with all meaning.

It was stupid as hell, which led us to the other little white lie I had been telling myself.

He was a warrior.

A self-centred, arrogant bastard that deserved a good spanking. Obviously a fucking lie. He was the furthest from a warrior, even though he was a Royal and a talented fighter at that. And like I had involuntarily admitted, I didn't want one, insignificant night with him. Nor did I want to punish, hurt, or degrade him, or wake up in the morning with a black hole in my memory and a hollow spot in my chest.

It was confusing, and maybe frightening, but I couldn't deny it.

I liked liked him.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. No– you look like a ghost!"

I raised my tired, grumpy eyes to the woman sitting beside me, and with an annoyed roll, I lowered them back to the untouched porridge on the round table.

"Not now, Leah."

I poked the greyish, cold pile of oats, a frown on my face. It wasn't even budging anymore, glued onto the plate like cement.

"What's the matter with you? I've been watching you sulk for half an hour now, I was just trying to cheer you up!"

Leah's voice penetrated my eardrums, momentarily turning my headache into a blinding twinge that almost made me throw up. I flinched and covered the ear closest to her, closing my eyes until I didn't feel like I was going to faint anymore.

"He didn't get dick last night."

And I opened them, Ronan's very punchable face greeting my deep scowl. "I found him from his bed, hugging a flowerpot– that mind you, I have to throw away–"

"Shut up."

I gritted, the Royal's lips tugged by a smug grin, "Oooh. I hit a soft spot, didn't I?"

Fucking bitch.

"How's your nose, dipshit?"

I retorted, giving him a sarcastic, hope-you-die-soon-smile. The man's smirk faltered in an instant, and he narrowed his eyes at me, "It is feeling a lot better, thank you for asking."