Damaged (Rúben Dias)

Chapter 13

Dani's POV

Last night, I texted Rúben to tell him I'm free today. And he apparently has it all planned. We're having dinner in his place and will talk about everything. Whatever everything is. I can honestly feel my stomach turning into a rollercoaster or something. When was the last time I was this nervous about something?

"Morning!!"

"Morning".

"What are you eating?", asks Libby looking at my bowl.

"Just some fruit. I'm not hungry".

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah just...long day ahead and all that".

"We could have movie night today or something".

"I'm actually going to Sam's, if that's ok".

"Dani, you're old enough to do whatever you want", laughs Libby. "Telling me when you won't come back is enough. So I don't worry. Are you having a sleepover there?"

"Yeah".

There are few things I hate more than lying to Libby. But I need to. I need to talk to Rúben before she finds out. Even if we think she might suspect, she doesn't know the full extent of everything.

"It'll be good that you're with Sam today".

I frown. That's such an odd comment. "Why is that?"

"You're looking a bit anxious. Being with a friend should help".

"Being with you would help too".

"I know but you see me every day".

She shrugs and starts to get her breakfast ready while I just look at my bowl and try to calm down. But it's almost impossible.

Sam notices straight away. Luckily, I don't need to lie to her.

"So...today?"

"Today", I confirm.

"Ok. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm about to throw up or pass out or both".

She laughs, hugging my side. "It'll be fine. It's not as if it's your first time".

"Yeah".

But the thing is, it's not the sex I'm worried about. I don't even know if we'll have sex and I don't want to assume and then be disappointed. It's the talking that I fear. I think I know how Rúben feels but...how do I feel? Will he be able to understand my fears and respect them? I would say yes but what if he gets tired of that? Of having to worry about all the baggage I carry with me. This isn't the usual for him. He just has one-night stands, like with Libby, and moves on. Maybe he will realize that's all he wants with me. And I don't just want that. If it was a cute boy from uni like Libby thought it was at first...maybe? But not with Rúben.

I somehow manage to concentrate enough during classes, though there is an embarrassing moment when the professor is calling my name and I don't realise at first, making him call my name again. And that makes the entire class look at me. But apart from that, all good.

"Are you walking to Rú...to Roger's?"

I laugh at the nickname Sam picked for him. "Yes. I'll see you tomorrow".

"You will. But text me if you need to talk or whatever".

"Will do".

"And...Dani. I don't think it'll be necessary but your sister thinks you're with me so if you need to leave his place and go somewhere else, my door is always open, ok?"