Damaged (Rúben Dias)

Chapter 17

Rúben's POV

Dani needs time...sure. I get that. I would need time too if all of this happened to me the way it's happening to her but I can't stand it anymore. I feel like she'll just use this as an excuse to give up on us. And I can't allow that to happen.

But whenever I call, she doesn't answer. And I don't dare go to her apartment because Libby will be there too and I can't even think about her without feeling disgusted.

So when I hear a knock on my door, I get excited for a second. It could be Dani...but it's Libby.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see. But I need to talk to you, Rúben".

"Why should I talk to someone who would do that to her own sister?"

She just takes the insult and tries to keep her head up to keep talking. "I was scared. Like I've never been before. Just hear me out".

I don't even know why I'm not kicking her out of my place. Maybe it's the memory of Dani siding with her despite everything. If I ever can get close to Dani again, I need to put up with Libby. She'll never choose me over her sister. No matter what she does. That much is clear to me now.

"Our parents died and I was old enough to keep Dani with me but it wasn't easy. I was working so many jobs. I had to do so many things I'll never let Dani find out about. But I did it for her. And then I met Aaron".

I can tell this is hard for her and a part of me wants to be willing to feel empathy for her. But it's still a small part.

"He was great. So sweet and so rich", she laughs. "But he never showed off to us. Dani was weary at first but she warmed up to him. Similar to what happened with you. But what she didn't like was him giving us money. And I don't blame her but she was in high school while I worked three jobs. So when I didn't have enough for rent and he gave me the money for it, I didn't care about my dignity. I cared about how I could put food on our table. Or how I could buy a new book for Dani. She was always so smart. We knew she had to go to uni but it's expensive and she wouldn't let Aaron pay for it".

I hate that it's through Libby that I manage to finally understand Dani so much better. I wish it had been her who told me. But she never trusted me that much. We were still working towards that when it all ended.

"Her grades and our financial situation were enough for her to get a good scholarship. But then Aaron lent me some money for some repairs we needed to do in the apartment and when the system noticed that extra income, they rejected her scholarship. And then he broke up with me. We were broken by losing our parents but this was another type of loss".

I notice she's just standing, looking smaller the more she talks, so I offer her to sit in one of the kitchen chairs.

"Thanks", she says before taking a deep breath. "He came back to tell me he was leaving. And Dani was savage to him. I think she was more hurt when he first betrayed us than I was. But she was also younger and didn't know how to handle emotions. And neither did Aaron. He answered back to every one of her accusations".

I want to smile at that. That's the Dani I know. So fiery always.

"You know? I sometimes hear his monologue again in my head. I hear him calling me easy. And reminding us how poor we were. And how he was doing us a favour but got bored of his charity project".

It's as if that comment transported me to the first time Dani was at my place when I was concussed. She said those exact words. Charity project. She thought I was just like that asshole Aaron. And can I really blame her? After everything she and her sister have been through...not surprising they have so many trust issues.

"Dani told him he would never find someone as good as me and he just said he could find someone like me in the street very easily. That it was there he found me. I didn't care. But that's why Dani has always hated my sleeping around. She thinks I took his words to heart and felt like I'm only good for a one-night stand. But it's the opposite".

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like I saw you that way too", I say, finally speaking.

"I don't care how you saw me. I care about how you see my sister. Her sleeping with you...I didn't expect that at all. Do you understand how much she had to work on trusting you to do that?"

"No, but you've made me understand it better".

"She chose you. And I fucked it up. She finally trusted a man and I go and do this. This is what makes me embarrassed of myself, not a preppy boy thinking he can hurt me by calling me a prostitute".

"You shouldn't have gone through all that anyway".

Libby chuckles, looking up and trying to keep the tears inside her eyes.

"I put on this facade for Dani's sake. For my sake. She gets to be moody but I don't. And I don't want to. I want to at least pretend. I need to get shit done. And seeing her happy because of uni and having a friend like Sam made me stop crying myself to sleep whenever I was alone at night. That's why I sleep around. Because it got to a point where asking my little sister to sleep with me at night became too fucking humiliating".

"There was nothing wrong with that...", I try to say but she's not even listening.

"Dani didn't want you around because you reminded her of Aaron. And while she realised you were nothing like him, that idea got into my head. I just didn't want her heart to break in a way that could never be fixed".

"Yours could be fixed too".

"It can't, Rúben. I'm the one who feels the pain every day. But it's bearable if Dani is happy and you can make her happy. So fight for her. She's worth it".

"I know she is".

"Will you fight for her then?"

"I will".