Life in Focus ⭐

22 - Feeling Lousy

I was back in Chiswick, and it was nice to finally be home. From Chiswick to Montana to Hungary and now back to Chiswick but alone. Henry was still in Hungary filming, but I was feeling slightly home sick, so I wanted to come home. Now that I was home, I was missing Henry and Kal like crazy. I plopped down on my couch and just sat there. As I leaned my head back and closed my eyes my cellphone rang. I didn't even look at the caller ID I just answered.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Well, there is my jet-setter best friend." Tyler said and I groaned.

"Tracking me still?"

"Had to make sure you made it home." Tyler said.

"Well at least someone did..."

"What's that mean?" Tyler asked.

"I called Henry when I landed but got his voicemail. He is on set, but I thought I would have gotten something." I explained.

"Give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he didn't hear his phone. I mean if he's in the middle of a scene he can't just stop to take your call." Tyler said and I just sighed.

"Yeah, I know." I said.

"Cam you know there is a reason and it's nothing like the one you're thinking so stop it. Henry loves you." Tyler said.

"Yeah, I know and even though he told me I have nothing to worry about...you didn't see his co-star that he has intimate scenes with. I mean she is hot." I said and Tyler said.

"Why is this always a thing with you? You get jealous of the girls who are always around thinking they are prettier than you. No matter how gorgeous she is I have seen you and Henry firsthand, you are adorable, and he loves you." Tyler said and I smiled.

"Yeah, I know..." I said.

"So, stop being dumb or I'm going to have to come to Chiswick and hurt you. And no offense that's a long trip just to beat you up." Tyler said and I smiled, and I got up taking my suitcase into my room. "So, since you're home without your hunky man, what's the plan?"

"Well, I got some picture orders so I see what I can fill and get for people. Also, I have some Hungary and Montana I want to send to Brian." I explained.

"So just throw yourself into work?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know what else to do. I need to get back to my life before Henry invaded it."

"Invaded? Sounds harsh." Tyler said.

"I don't mean it that way obviously. I just need to find myself again. Lately everything has been Henry." I groaned.

"Wow, still sounding harsh."

"Shut up Tyler." I said and he sighed.

"Okay sorry. So, when are you going to start going out?" Tyler asked.

"Tomorrow. Right now, I want to nap. Jetlag is a bitch." I said and he chuckled.

"Go sleep and we will talk later." Tyler said.

"Alright, love ya." I said and hung up.

I started unpacking my suitcase and pulled out one piece of clothing. I packed one of henry's shirt to sleep in since he would be gone.

As I lay in bed, I went through everything I said about Henry. Invaded...? Had he invaded my life? Did I have my own life anymore? I just seemed like everything I thought about was Henry, even my show. I was more concerned with Henry not being there. It didn't hit me that I made something of myself until I noticed all the pictures sold and even at that moment, I was worried about talking to Henry.

I laid starring at the ceiling and was unsure of what time it was or anything else when my cellphone rang beside me on the bed. I looked and saw it was Henry. I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it right now...I was second guessing everything. I knew he told me he wanted me, and he loved me, but I was really having an issue in my own life with this. My phone stopped ringing and was soon going off with a voicemail. I grabbed my phone to listen to the voicemail.

"I was hoping you would answer since I missed your call when you got home. I guess you probably fell asleep due to jetlag. I already miss you and hate you not being here. I love you so much and I will call you soon. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call. I love you and talk soon my love." Henry's voice said and I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I knew they weren't tears of sadness or tears of missing him. They were tears for the loss of me.

I put my phone down on the bed and just started crying. I needed to calm down, I was just overtired from all the trips and traveling. I just needed to get some sleep and I would feel better when I woke up, I would feel different when I woke up. Everything would be fine, overly tired was all this was. I rolled to my side and closed my eyes, quickly crying to sleep.

I woke up hours later to my phone ringing again only it was a facetime call this time. I sighed seeing it was Henry. I knew I needed to answer, if I didn't, he would be worried. I swiped the screen and answered.

"Hey." I said rubbing my eyes wiping away the dried tears and sleep.

"Hey, I was getting worried about you. I called earlier." Henry said and I nodded.

"I know sorry, I got it right as I was about to fall asleep."

"So, you were still awake...?" Henry asked and I groaned.

"Half asleep Henry." I stated.

"Okay..."

"How's filming?" I asked changing the subject.

"Tiring. Filmed a fight scene all day." Henry said and I just nodded. "So, I talked to mum and dad before I called you..." Henry trailed off.

"How are they?" I asked.

"Really good. I asked them for a favor, and they said it would be up to you, but they would be okay with it." Henry said.

"Which was?" I asked.

"Well, they offered for you to come and stay with them while I'm away filming, so you won't be alone. I think it's a great idea too." Henry said and I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Henry, I love your parents and I thank them for the offer but I'm tired of traveling, I just want to be home for a while." I said. I was met with silence and an odd look.

"Oh, okay...I can let them know. I mean maybe they could come visit you or something..."

"Henry please just let me be me for a while." I snapped.

"Let you be you? What does that even mean?" Henry asked.

"I just want to be myself for a while I have some work to get done and I just want to do that and not have to worry about entertaining anyone. I just want to work and do what I love Henry." I explained.

"Be yourself...okay fine. Go be Cam." Henry said. I went to say something sensing his annoyance. "I have to go." Henry said and hung up before I could even answer.

I tossed my phone beside me, pulling my knees up and resting my forehead on my knees. That was not how I planned our conversation to go but it was out there now.

My feelings were out there, and I should be happy they were but why did I feel so lousy?