Cowboy ride to the devil's house

What I am now

A few months have passed. I notice I've gained some weight. I look around the bathroom and I find a pregnancy test.

I take it and I see two lines. My eyes water as I go into the kitchen.

"Hey uh, will.." I say as I hide the test behind me.

He's had a long day at work. Aka tending to the animals and selling stuff at the marketplace.

"Yeah babydoll?" He asks.

"You know that room upstairs." I say

"The baby room?"

"Yeah, we might wanna start getting furniture." I say with a grin. It takes him a moment to realize what I'm talking about.

His eyes widen. "Wait. Haylee. You ain't fucking with me now, right?" He says as he stands up.

I show him the test.

"Though I know the tests aren't always true.. but-" I flinch as he kisses me. His eyes water. He looks so happy.

A few more months go by. I was expecting a baby boy in two months. Except today.. Its all gone downhill.

I'm scream and sob.  William enters the bathroom. There's blood coming from my vagina. His eyes widen as he picks me up and carries me to the truck. He drives fast to the hospital.

A few hours pass. I had a miscarriage.

We're home again. I'm the one who's most devastated.

I'm curled up in blankets on the bed. I'm crying and Im scrolling through tiktok on my phone.

He sits on the bed and rubs my shoulder.

"Haylee.. it's not yur fault." He says sweetly. "I mean it babydoll. Nobody could've known."

I sniffle. "I'm sorry.." I say as I cover my face. "I... It's all my fault. I.. i-"

I'm quickly sat up and he holds me close. My face is in his chest now. He rubs my back.

"Haylee. You hear me and you hear me well. It's not yur fault." He says."shh.."

I'm crying into his chest. He holds me and rocks me back and forth. "Just let it out babydoll. Let it out.. I'm here for yur."

I cry for an hour straight.

Then after a few weeks. I'm a bit depressed. He spoils me and one day when he comes home from the marketplace. He finds my favorite painting of the cherry blossom tree, ripped in half.

He comes into the master bedroom and sighs when he sees me in the closet.

"Haylee.. come on." He says. "We're gonna go for a drive."

I stand up and he helps me get changed. My eyes are so dull. He sighs and kisses my cheek. He gets sweats on me and he braids my hair and puts his hat on my head. He slips my sneakers on and brings me out to his truck.

He makes small talk on the drive. He smiles.

"Haylee." He says. "You know. Maybe it just wasn't the right time." He tells me. "At least it was then and not in the future."

I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?' I ask.

"Well, my mama had my older brother and he had been killed by a sickness five years later. At least the baby died before it could experience life and loss and pain. In my opinion I much rather the baby died the way it did rather than later when we got attached and had loved it more." William tells me.

His words actually get through to me. I nod slowly. "Yeah.. I guess it was better the way it turned out." I say.

"Hey, how bout we go and have a date night. I packed food already. So how bout we go on up to a special spot. Then we can have a picnic."