Spirits of Emotion - LWA - Constanze x Jasminka x Amanda

Chapter 3

Amanda ended up in town, walking around. She was intending on just spending the day in town, thinking about what was going on. She had this weird feeling in her chest. It felt familiar, but she couldn't exactly place it. As she walked through the streets, she would look around, and she was starting to notice stuff she hadn't before. But to her, it just felt like the world was trying to tease her, torment her. She would see couples chatting outside of cafes, walking around, holding hands and such. She would always look away so quickly, even staring at the ground she couldn't help but look at the cracks in the cement and pavement. Sometimes they curved, and shattered in normal ways. But occasionally, even if it wasn't there to the blind eye, she would see small figures of faces, or images in the grains of the rock. Similar to how you might see a face on a static screen. She scrunched up her nose and groaned with hostility, as she couldn't take her mind off of Constanze and Jasminka. She hit herself in the forehead a handful of times. "Cut, it, OUT!" she would bark, before kicking a can on the sidewalk. It rolled a ways away, before stopping on a small incline between a sunken piece of the sidewalk and a lifted one. She sighed, continuing to walk forwards, she kicked the can up, before parrying it on her knees before knocking it into her hands. It was a soda can from a relatively popular brand in the country. She sighed, before tossing it in a trash can she walked past. She put her hands in her pockets, and began to think. "This feeling, it's so dumb! What is it?! I can't remember the last time I felt this way..." She continued to walk before looking in at the magic cafe, she saw an ad for an event for the town in the window. She stood up straight, losing her pitied hunched posture. She muttered as she read it, before looking down and smiling. She walked in to get an advertisement flier. While it won't be as big as the poster, she only wanted to show two people. As she walked out of the Cafe, she looked down and her hands shook. She was wondering why she was doing this, but decided to embrace it regardless.

As she got back to the school, the sun was going down, seeming as she walked back. When she opened the door to the dorm, she was looking at the flier again. She looked up and gasped, seeing Constanze in a chair with her hair put up into a bun up over her head, pulled up by her bow. Jasminka had her hands gently on Constanze's head, using her magic to try to heal Constanze's mind. Amanda looked at Jasminka questioningly. "What is this? What are you doing?" Jasminka looked a bit worried when she looked up at Amanda, and chose her words carefully. "I wanted to check what happened with Constanze this morning." she said calmly, referring to the bed. "I noticed that I was wrong about my assumption... I am sorry that I was quick to blame you." Amanda thought before realizing what Jasminka thought happened. She clenched her fists, trying hard not to destroy the flier. Jasminka spoke up again, "The reason Constanze was so stressed out was because of nightmares referring to the missile Croix made. I have been using my magic for about an hour to try to nullify the dreams and help her mind stop making nightmares about it. The enchantment will only last a few days, but hopefully it's long enough." Constanze nodded, which seemed to make Amanda feel much more at ease. She sighed and calmly closed the door, closing her eyes as she did. A small "heh" came from her before she smiled her cocky yet happy smile to the two. "I am glad to know you found out what was wrong, and that she's ok." Jasminka smiled at Amanda, glad to hear such coming from her. But she couldn't really tell why Amanda was being so studious now. Constanze looked over too and saw the flier. She put her arm out and grunted. Amanda seemed confused, before seeing the flier. "Do you want to see this?" Constanze grunted again, not really being able to nod with Jasminka doing her thing. Amanda handed the flier over, and Constanze brought it over to her lap so she could read it. Constanze raised it up so Jasminka could read it too, which garnered an intrigued hmm. "You want to go to the party in town next weekend Amanda?" she asked, Amanda played it cool in response. Her legs crossed as she leaned back. "Well, I thought it might be fun for us to go out and do something. Especially to treat ourselves after that big test that's coming up on Monday." The girls thought about it. Cons looked up at Jas, before Cons looked to the side at Amanda and gave a thumbs up, Jasminka nodding. Amanda sat up excitedly, "Really?!" she asked. Constanze was surprised from the sudden excitement, but Jasminka only laughed. "Of course! I just need to find my dress."

That night when Amanda was sleeping, thinking about the party, she couldn't keep still. She had her legs tucked, and swaying from side to side, knocking her knees together. She hummed quietly, rolling her head side to side as she thought about the event. She eventually looked over to Constanze, before her motions slowed down, and her smile faded. Constanze was in her bed, bundled up in a blanket burrito, having one hand up against her face as she slept softly. The other hand was holding onto the blanket as she held it close to her. She had a soft snore, but it wasn't anything more than Jasminka's. Her mouth was open as she slept, and her hair was down, sprawled across the bed and pillow. Amanda blinked, her face slowly looking more and more saddened about this feeling she had bottled up inside of her. She whispered a bit, "Cons... you still awake?" she said, being hopelessly optimistic. Constanze didn't respond, which made Amanda roll onto her back again. She groaned, kicking her blanket up a bit before grabbing her pillow, pulling it out from under her, and slamming her face into it. She screamed into it, being rather well muffled enough not to wake up Constanze. She rolled onto her side, and began to sniffle. She began to think about this feeling, and realized that she, with a lot of doubt about if this was what she truly felt. She liked Constanze, and she had for a little while, but helping her recently by getting so close with her just made her feel even closer to Constanze. She held the pillow tight to her face, trying not to show her weakness to anyone that may end up waking up. She then panicked, putting the pillow down, before getting up, and slipping into her slippers. She quietly opened the door, and shut it, walking out of the dorms. Jasminka, who had woken up from her screaming, heard the door. She sat up, and presumed Amanda had left, since Constanze was still there. She sighed, trying to think of what to do in this situation.

Amanda sat outside, near the blue moon tower. She began to hold her stomach, before pulling her legs up to her. She only now noticed she hadn't eaten all day, and now she was so worried that she felt sick. She sniffled, trying to keep her nose from running onto her legs or her nightgown. She closed her eyes, she didn't know if anyone was around, but she didn't want to risk crying and being noticed. People knew her as strong, powerful, and optimistic. How would they react if they saw her crying? She wiped her tears away, a memory, a vague one at that, flashing in her mind. She remembers seeing a younger boy, but she too seemed to be younger. Suddenly, there was fire in her hand, and then yelling. The rest seemed to be a blur as of now, but she couldn't bring herself to stop thinking about it. She had the same feeling back then, as she did now. Her lips began to tremble, closing her eyes and squishing tears out over her body. She struggled to breath from trying to cry quietly. "I'm a monster..." she thought, she tried to say it to herself, but she was crying so hard that she couldn't even get the words out. She held herself tight, her nails digging into her hands as they overlapped. Her tears went down her face, as her eyes trembled, becoming pink from the strain. She felt cold, but she couldn't get back. No way was she going to go back to the dorms on her own to end up hurting people. That's what this feeling she had meant, she was positive. She felt she wanted to harm her friends, and she doesn't want that. She heard something, but didn't respond, the sound continued to be heard, until it was clearer, and nearby. "Amanda!" someone called out. Amanda looked up, drowning in her own sorrows, only to see Jasminka, who was in her more casual clothing. She seemed sad too, mainly seeing Amanda out here all alone in this state. Jasminka slowly walked up to Amanda, "Amanda..." she said again, slower, and sadder this time. She stood in front of Amanda, watching her cry, before sitting down beside her. Amanda looked away, small flakes of red magic came from her hair, but Jasminka didn't think too much of it.

"What's wrong Amanda?" she asked. "Are you alright? You seemed so happy earlier..." She spoke softly, kindly, and slowly. She didn't want to scare Amanda, she wanted to make her feel safe. As she watched Amanda sniffle, she looked around, before seeing a fallen leaf. She took her wand out, and casted a spell on it, changing it into a handkerchief. She grabbed it, and brought it over to Amanda, who promptly took it and blew her nose. She was still in tears, and desperation. Jasminka gently put her hand onto Amanda's shoulder. "I am here for you Amanda, tell me what's going on..." Amanda wouldn't speak, so Jasminka stayed. She didn't talk more to Amanda, not wanting to pressure her. She took her hand away, and looked down, as Amanda continued to cry. Amanda muttered something, which led Jasminka to look over slightly. "What was that?" she asked, genuinely unable to have heard what Amanda said. Amanda took a moment, before putting her forehead against her knees. All she could mutter out was a quiet "I'm scared." Jasminka's eyes widened, she wasn't used to Amanda being scared, much less was she expecting to hear that from Amanda. Jasminka wanted to ask more, or use her magic to find out, but she knew that would be too intrusive, or take up too much time. She put her hand out, causing Amanda to look up some. "Let's get you back to bed, please?" Amanda looked at the hand, causing her heart to pound a little. That feeling was back again. She was cautious, raising her hand up and taking Jasminka's hand. Her skin was soft, and warm as opposed to the cold, roughed skin from Amanda. After all, Amanda was outside for a while in the cold night as opposed to Jasminka. Jasminka slightly raised her hand, now holding Amandas gently, yet tight, allowing Amanda to get up. She did so, and stood there, wanting to let go of Jasminka's hand to stop the feeling. But Jasminka didn't let go, she only gave a peaceful smile. "I don't want you to run away again, I want you to hold on. Please?" Amanda looked at their hands, before nodding. They began to walk towards the school building.

As Amanda and Jasminka walked, Amanda's eyes couldn't help but drift down to look at their hands. She began to move, but Jasminka didn't seem to react much. Obviously Jasminka could feel what was happening, but it didn't feel like Amanda was trying to pull out of the grab. Amanda's heart pounded like a tribal drum, her chest barely able to contain it as her tears held back. Her hand twisted, and her fingers pressed across Jasminka's, before interlocking. She gasped a bit, and her eyes widened, surprised Jasminka wasn't going to do anything about it. She had a sinking feeling of wanting to stop, that feeling in her chest was growing more and more. But at the same time, she desired this feeling in a way. She looked away and down, hoping nothing bad would happen as she made her next move. Her fingers bent up, and held onto the back of Jasminka's hand. Jasminka looked down at their hands, surprised, before folding her fingers up too. Holding onto the back of Amanda's hand. Amanda gasped, before looking back down, then up to Jasminka. The two looked at each other, before sharing smiles. Not one word was distributed during this, and they continued to walk as this went on. But somehow, Amanda felt better, still scared, but better. As they approached the school doors, Jasminka stopped, promptly causing Amanda to stop too. Jasminka looked to their hands then up to Amanda. "Do you still want to hold on while we walk to the dorms? Or do you want to just walk beside me?" Jasminka put this in a questioning tone, not in a hostile manner at all. Amanda knew that, and knew what she meant. Amanda quietly let go, releasing her hand from Jasminka's, and putting both of her hands in her pockets. Jasminka smiled, "You can continue to hold on if you want to." Amanda shook her head no, still feeling upset. Jasminka nodded understandably, before walking into the building, and leading Amanda back to the dorms. Hoping that Amanda would get a good rest, and warm up.