Sugar, Spice and a pinch of Fantasy

Chapter 42

----------- Chapter 42 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Haden doesn’t react after a few long minutes, I begin getting nervous. Is he going to blow?

I kneel down beside him and take both his hands in mine. “Haden, I really don’t want to keep the baby,” I repeat, staring intently at him.

He blinks a couple of times, trying to get a grip over himself. “You don’t?” he asks, his voice very low and indistinct.

I shake my head. “I don’t know the first thing about being a mum,” I whisper.

               “We can learn. Together,” he encourages.

               “I know. But it’s Carter’s baby...I don’t want it. I don’t want anything that will remind me of him. I won’t be able to love it knowing that it’s his,” I clarify after a heartbeat.

Haden’s grey eyes go cold the moment I mention Carter.

               “Haden, be honest. You are as disgusted as I am,” I murmur softly.

               “I’m out of my depth Jess. I don’t know what to do or how to do it,” he moans after a moment, sliding down to the floor and leaning against the bed.

               “Me too,” I whisper, sliding down next to him. I lean my head against his shoulder and keep my eyes closed tightly.

               “Well, if you don’t want to keep the baby, what do we do?” he asks.

               “An abortion, I guess? I’m afraid that it’ll hurt and all but I think it’s my only choice,” I answer as confidently as possible.

               “The pain isn’t the issue, Jess. Abortions are illegal,” he informs me severely.

And then everything crashes down on me and I begin to cry. Haden looks at me sympathetically and enfolds me in his arms.

               “I don’t want to be pregnant!” I blubber.

               “It doesn’t matter what you want anymore, my love,” he reminds me, kissing my tears away.

               “Haden!” I stammer, clinging on to him. “I’m scared!”

               “I know, love, I know. But it’s too late. It’s happening and crying isn’t going to solve a thing. Now that you know an abortion isn’t even an option...we’ll have to decide how we’re going to deal with the next nine months,” he murmurs. His tone is cold and aloof and I have to admit I’m hurt. Why won’t he comfort me?

               “I really don’t want to have a baby, Haden. I don’t want it. Please? Can’t we do a backstreet abortion? Please?” I plead.

And sudden anger crosses Haden’s face. “I can’t believe you,” he mutters frustratedly, running his hand through his hair. “How can you not see life as sacred?” he demands, his voice rising.

               “It’s not living yet! It’s just a bundle of cells,” I mumble.

               “Do you not hear yourself?” he asks, looking disappointed. “I’m a reaper, for God’s sake! My life is full of death. And here you are, wanting to kill off a defenceless baby,” he spits.

               “It’s not a baby yet Haden!” I stammer.

He clenches his jaw and stares at me coldly. “Let’s stop arguing before I say something that hurts you. You’re the mother. I’m nothing, I get it. I have no right to tell you what to do. Maybe you should ask the baby’s father what to do,” he mutters bitterly.