Sugar, Spice and a pinch of Fantasy

Chapter 17

---------- Chapter 17 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My entire life has been a lie! Not one single thing was ever true, was it?

Making up my mind, I unlock my window and quietly climb down the roof. There’s a loud commotion coming from the study; the guys must be arguing or something. Let them argue! I need to go to the one person that has been true to me.

The cold wind whips at my exposed face and neck. I didn’t think of bringing a scarf with me. All I had was my trench coat. I pull it tighter around myself and walk down the lonely streets to the school.

I heard that even on weekends, the teachers had to come in. I need to find Carter!

After half an hour of walking, I finally reach the school gates. My heart is halfway up my throat by this time; a mixture of elation at being able to see Carter again and nerves about where we actually stood.

I walk through the long, quiet corridors until I finally get to Carter’s room. I knock the door gently.

               “Come in,” comes Carter’s smooth reply.

I push the door open and stand at the doorway, feeling unsure of myself.

               “Jessica? What are you doing here?” he asks, not really seeming as surprised as he probably should.

               “I...didn’t have anywhere else to go,” I admit after a moment.

               “Oh? How do you mean?” he questions, motioning for me to take a seat opposite him.

I close the door behind me and walk across the tiny room to sit on one of the little chairs facing Carter’s table.

Carter’s room is simple, austere almost. He has no knickknacks or photos or anything really. It’s just the one table, his chair, two other chairs facing his table and a little white box in the corner.

               “I fought with the boys. I just wanted to get away from the mansion,” I reply, twiddling my thumb in nervousness.

               “What did you fight about?” he asks, his eyes probing mine.

Don’t tell him, a voice cautions in my head. It sounds almost like Haden’s voice.

Don’t tell him?! But he’s the only person I can trust!

Don’t tell him, the voice cautions again.

               “Oh, umm, just the usual,” I murmur, shrugging my shoulders, trying to feign nonchalance.

               “I see,” Carter responds, his face vacant. “Your eyes are puffy and red; you’ve been crying. Why?” he demands after a moment of quietly assessing me.

               “I was just upset over the fight,” I murmur quietly, dropping my gaze to the floor.

The next thing I know, Carter is standing beside me, his hand cupping my jaw delicately. “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” he asks, peering down intently at me.

I nod my head, but otherwise don’t respond. He tilts my chin up, and in the next instant, his lips are on mine, making all my fears seem so far away.

He pulls away much too soon though.

               “I...Haden told me some stuff,” I admit abruptly.

               “I know. I could tell. You’re distressed and afraid, no? You don’t know whether to tell me the things you want to. But fret not, I know all of it,” Carter breathes into my ear.

               “No, it was just a fight,” I insist, tears beginning to form.

               “You don’t need to pretend. I’m here for you, darling. I know all of it. From the enmortals to your family and Haden’s role in their deaths,” he continues, pulling me into a warm embrace.

Only once I’m in the embrace do I allow myself to sob and weep bitterly. Carter merely holds me, rubbing my back gently.

               “Why?” I ask dejectedly once I’m out of tears.

               “Life’s unfair. I know,” he mumbles into my hair, keeping me pressed against his body.

               “It hurts! All the lies and secrecy! I feel like I can’t trust them anymore!” I admit into his hard chest.

               “You can’t,” he agrees kissing my forehead. “Haden is your guardian, he should have told you the truth, the whole truth! Nothing gives him the right to withhold information from you!”

He had a reason to do it, Jess! The little angelic voice in my head argues. Don’t listen to Carter. Don’t trust him! The boys, Haden, told you not to!

               “I wish our families had never met!” I mutter bitterly, dashing the remaining tears off my face.

               “You can’t change the past, but you can change the future,” Carter murmurs, holding onto my hand.

               “What do you mean?” I ask unsurely.

               “Run away with me!” he murmurs, his voice eager.

               “Run away? But I’m not old enough...” I begin, lost in thought.

Run away with Carter?

               “We can live together! I love you Jessica! I’ll take care of you!” he promises, resting my hand against his chest.

               “But-” I begin, before his lips crash into mine again.

His warm hands are on my waist, making their way down my back, caressing me lovingly.

               “Don’t you love me Jessica? Don’t you want us to be together? Haden will never let us be together!” Carter whispers fiercely.

Do you? Do you really love him? Do you even know what love is? I question myself.

               “I want to be together,” I admit after a moment.

               “Then the only way that will ever happen is if we run away together! Now! Let’s leave this little town!” he encourages.

               “My things-” I protest before he cuts me off again.

               “Forget them! We’ll buy what we need! Let’s go,” he murmurs, pulling me along behind him.

Running away with Carter is what I want to do, I try to convince myself.

Then why are you so undecided?