𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 ೃ⁀➷

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚

backstory moments ~

August 2143:  (age 11)
Please, Josh... I don't want to die!" I whisper, my voice trembling as I clutch his sleeve, my small fingers gripping the fabric like it's the only thing keeping me tethered. I can barely breathe as he kneels in front of the open cupboard, ready to close the door and hide me away, again.

"Eve, you have to be quiet. If you stay hidden, you won't die. Okay?" His voice is calm, but there's a sharp edge to it—a desperation he's trying to keep hidden. His dark eyes search mine, waiting for me to nod, to agree. But I can't help it; I'm scared. My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest.

"But I don't like it here," I whimper, my voice cracking as tears blur my vision. "It's too small!" The cupboard is cramped and cold, the metal walls pressing in on me, suffocating. The fear feels bigger than the space.

Josh's hands gently cup my face, forcing me to look at him. "Evelyn. Look at me." His tone is firm, the way it always is when he's trying to get through to me. I blink away the tears and meet his eyes. They're hard, but there's something else there too—something soft, protective. "I'm here to protect you. Do you hear me? If anyone tries to hurt you, I'll kill them. I swear it."

I gulp and nod, a small, broken sound escaping my throat. "Mhm."

"Good." His thumb brushes a tear off my cheek. "You trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do," I whisper back, clutching his hand now, needing to hold onto something solid, something real. My brother has always been the only thing that feels real in this nightmare.

"Then stay hidden. I'll make sure they don't find you. I won't let anything happen to you, little sis." His voice lowers to a rough whisper, but his promise feels like a lifeline.

I nod again, harder this time, trying to show him that I understand. I do trust him. I have to.

Josh takes one last look at me, his face tight with worry, before he gently shuts the cupboard door. The darkness swallows me whole. The faint click of the lock sends a shiver down my spine. I curl up into myself, hugging my knees, and squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the tears to stop.

"It'll be okay," I tell myself in a shaky whisper. "It'll be okay. Josh will come back. He'll open the door, and I'll be safe." I repeat it over and over like a mantra, trying to believe it. Trying to silence the fear gnawing at my insides.

Minutes feel like hours, but I cling to his words, to his promise. He won't let them find me. He won't let me die.

2143:
I sit cross-legged on Josh's bed, my fingers tracing the worn-out edges of his blanket. His room feels like the safest place on The Ark, even though it's just as cold and metallic as the rest of this floating prison. Every day, when he comes home, he tells me stories. It's our routine—our way of pretending the world outside doesn't exist, that I'm not a secret he has to hide.

Josh leans back against the wall, his dark hair messy from whatever trouble he and Bellamy got into today. He kicks off his boots and grins at me like he's about to share the biggest news ever. "So, guess what? Me and Bellamy, we've decided we're gonna start training for the Guard when we graduate." His voice is filled with that familiar excitement, the kind that only comes when he talks about the future—about escaping this life.

I raise an eyebrow, pretending to be unimpressed, though I can't help but smile a little. "That's cool and all," I say, "but aren't you worried you might get in trouble?"

He frowns slightly. "Why would I get in trouble?"

I shrug, looking down at the floor, suddenly feeling the weight of the secret between us. "Because of me," I murmur. The words taste bitter in my mouth. I hate that I'm the reason he has to worry, that his dreams might be jeopardized just because I exist.