Long Time Gone

Chapter 23

Bob Dylan's wrist watch at the bedside table began to whine when it ticked the first hour of the morning, 1 am. With an annoyed grunt, he reached out and silenced it, before returning his tired gaze back at me.

Curled up in a fetus-like position against his chest, I stared into the space, not permitting anyone to ruin the momentary bliss with gloomy words and even gloomier tears. I just wanted to lay in the arms of my one true love for the last time. It wasn't much to ask for.

By my side, I felt Bob straightened a little against the headboard of the bed, lighting himself a Malboro Red and puffing the smoke into the room. He inhaled sharply, rubbing his temple with his thumb.

Turning his gaze down to me, he said, "I can only wish the time goes slower. It's already one in the morning.....any chance you changed your mind?"

I flashed him a sad grin, tracing lazy circles around his chest, where my hand rested. "I wish that was true."

Bob began to question, a frown on his face. "But why-?"

"Shush, Bob. I told you. We're over this discussion." I snapped with finality, to which he sighed and blew out a thick cloud of smoke.

"Doesn't make sense to me." He gruntled, his confused eyes regarding me as he took a long drag of the cigarette. "I don't know why you won't stay."

I perked up on my elbows and sat up, facing Bob with raised questioning eyebrows. "Tell me this- are you really wishing me to stay?"

"Of course!" He laughed in disbelief, tucking loose hair strands behind my ears.

"Really? Me alongside your stardom, Bobby? Albert? Joan and all the other important people in your life- alongside me?"

"Is that hard to get?" He remarked with a confused glare. "I'll very much balance everything out, Lizzie. I'll balance my relationship out with you. Same goes for the rest of those cats."

"Then tell me this, and I mean seriously." I muttered solemnly. "If I happen to stay, will you continue to love me like you used to? Will you give me the roof of your house and a space in your heart? Will I matter something to you?"

Bob stared at me wordlessly. I saw him swallow, crossing his brows as he smoked the last of his Malboro Red. Extinguishing the bud on the bedside table, he turned to me.

"You know this- I can't love you like I used to. Many things have happened-"

"See? There's your answer." I interrupted with a sad smile, casting my gaze downwards.

"But that doesn't mean that I don't want you around!" Bob defensively replied, leaning in to lift my chin. He added in a mutter as he kissed my cheek, "It's stupid to feel this complicated."

"Then don't think too much about it." I muttered back, sensing my heart weigh down. "Just stay with me here. Happy for a moment."

"Well, what about after all this? What about me, then? You can't leave an old friend like this!"

I helplessly peered at him, feeling the lump in my throat harden as the symptoms of a fresh headache started occuring. In my all honesty, I had nothing to say to him. I knew for a fact that none of my words could convince him to let me go easily, and neither could his to convince me to stay. Therefore, I let him rant.

"You're leaving me to nothing, Lizzie." Bob continued to argue, "What have I got besides you?"

"You've got your awesome profession." I stated with an idle smile, tilting my head to a side. "You've got Mr Grossman. You have this pretty girlfriend. Plus, you've got a whole goddamn tour to look forward to."