The God Within (NaNoWriMo 2023)

Chapter 1: Loaded Toy Gun

Tw: violence, soft gore, transphobia, drug use, self harm mention

Chapter 1 - Loaded toy gun

I've always been different, even as a baby I came out with a scream not because I was swallowing my first breath, but because I could see the dead. Most people who say this are classified as mentally ill, which I'm not. Well. I am. Not because the souls of this planet stalk my every waking second but more so due to who I am as a person. Maybe it's a disease I contracted as a child or perhaps I took one too many knocks to the head. But since I was little, I knew I was different. Mentally, I'm fucked. Physically? I'm fucked.

The loud wail of police sirens roared behind my ear as I tore from the gas station towards my car. The toy gun in my hand fell to the floor as I grabbed the handle of the junker, ripping it open I slid inside. I checked the bag in my other hand and sorted through the handfuls of cash. It wasn't much but would be just enough to pay off what I didn't have for my rent. What else could I do? I wasn't going to be homeless again that's for sure! Now I have another problem. The police.

My car sputtered a few times as I forced the key upwards.

"Come on, come on," I said to the machine, "You got this, girl. I believe in you,"

The engine roared to life, I could see the lights in the distance getting closer. I was thankful for the slow police response in my area. Pulling the mask off my face I tore out of the parking lot, my eyes danced to the people roaming the streets as I drove the opposite way from the gas station I had just robbed. Children in costume with exhausted parents filled every nook and cranny of the city. I was thankful for it, It'd be hard to pick up one Scream mask out of thousands. Not that the pigs cared too much, they were more interested in their shiny new police cruisers.

I took a few turns down some back streets to be sure to keep a good distance, pulling over by a graveyard. Letting myself take in rapid breaths. I pushed myself out of the vehicle, making towards the back and removing the cardboard that I'd spray painted white to cover my license plate. Tossing it in the bushes, "That...was a lot easier than last time," I said with a whistle.

"I wouldn't call holding up a gun at some innocent people 'easy'"

I glanced towards my friend, a soul made of vivid yellow light. He stood only a few steps away with hands in his jean pockets.

"It was a toy gun," I say with a shrug.

The soul rolled his eyes, "Probably still terrifying for them, Hades."

"Who are you? My mother?" I asked my friend. I grabbed my car door, ducking back inside and pulled the bag towards me. I counted out the money for a few seconds. Calculating exactly the amount I needed to pay off rent and grab something to eat that wasn't canned beans and rice.

"Mother Haoyu, I like the ring of that." The soul mused, fading through the door and sitting on the seat beside me.

"Shut up, Haoyu." I said with a soft snort as I packed the money into the bag. Lights flashed behind me and my blood ran cold. I took in a breath as the red and blue danced over the mirror in front of me.

"Fuck"

We both say at once, Haoyu vanished into the air as I sat in cold fear. I felt a panic attack start to drag through my skin. What am I going to do? The crunch of boots on gravel sent a rippling wave of intense fear through me as I grabbed the bag and shoved it under the seat with rapid pace.

The soft knock of flashlight against glass sent a chill into my usually smoldering body. I glanced up at the office, cranking my window down with the handle and forced myself to smile.