Secrets and Stones

(1) Dance/Meeting/Outside

 June 12, Day 1 of trying to buy a forest

I got up.

Like every other day.

I tried dancing, like every other day.

I fell, like every other day.

And then I decided to walk out, unlike every other day.

"Go back and dance!" They yelled, only this time, I didn't listen. I don't care I told them, I couldn't care less. "Your grounded!" They yelled. I still didn't care. "No allowance!" They yelled. And I did care. I needed money. 

If I ever wanted to run away from this place, I would need money. So I went back and danced. I felt like a child. I am 17, and they're making me dance like a child. "Tip toes!" They yelled, screaming in my face. My rosy cheeks became lighter the more I spun, and danced, and jumped. "I feel light headed..." They told me to just keep dancing, i'll get used to it. 

But I don't want to be used to it. I don't want to dance. I don't want to be a princess or a queen, I want a forest. A forest with pine trees and oak trees and open fields and vehicles to ride on and friends. A friend who agrees with me, a friend who actually cares about my opinion. 

"I think i'm gonna pass out.." They continued to yell at me. And yell. Until the three hour dance session was over. I was done dancing. Dancing is the most dreadful part about Mondays. Either than it literally being a Monday! It was summer though, more fun things happen during the summer.

School ended a few weeks ago. There is school for princesses, and princes. One only about 300 kids get to go to. Private teachers with small classrooms and good behaving students. There are only about 300 kingdoms. The rule is if you never have a child, you can't be the queen.

I don't want to be a queen or a princess. "Mom." She looked at me. "I don't want to be a queen." She scoffed like every other day. "You have to." She treated me like a child, all day long. "Mother," She looked at me again. "Say mom." She looked away. "why do you treat me like a child?" She looked at me once again. "Because you are one sweetie! You always will be. Now go to your room." And I followed. I went to my room.

I thought about the prices of the forests I might be able to get. And the idea popped into my head. Nobody lives north of the kingdom, it's just open forest. Acres and acres of forest, all for free. 

I could run. If I tried. I could steal a horse, ride away. It's too far though. My thoughts were so dim, nothing exotic, only the forests. The animals living there, the rabbits the cuddly bear cubs! I could lay on this bed forever and only dream of a forest. 

Why am I dreaming? I could be going to an actual forest! Living my life all by myself, no queens or princesses or princes!  

I knew if I went i'd be killed. If you don't belong to a kingdom, your an outsider. Outsiders are never welcome. I'm already not welcome, what's the difference? The difference. I can't be killed, i'm a princess. Once i'm 18 then I can fight, but nobody will let me. 

If I die, the heir to the throne will be gone. I had read a few books about things like this, if an heir dies, the queen and king will either be forced to make a new heir, or kicked out of the position and sent back to being commoners.

"Why. Why must I be a princess?" It felt stupid and annoying. I can't even talk how I want anymore, special words must be said. I hate talking formerly, I want to speak like I mean it, like it means something.

"Amelia, come down here and eat your food!" I sighed to myself and slowly got up. I brushed the dust off my flowing, blue-ish skirt and walked to the old door. The door that kept me safe when mom and King Darnell fought over me.