Secrets and Stones

(7) Gone/Hatred/Feeling

July 1, Day 20 of trying to buy a forest

I coughed. 

My throat felt like the deepest pits of hell, my body felt dead. I opened my eyes, looking above me. He was looking right back down at me. "God. You almost died." I laughed and coughed some more, before realizing he was carrying me. "I'm putting you down, i'm tired, and it's not good for you to be on your back if you were going to puke." I let him set me down and let my face have a blank expression. 

Hold it back. Hold it back. Don't smile. Don't blush. No. Nope. I can't like him. Never.

"Thanks, for saving my life." I gave him a look and he smiled back. I looked around our makeshift area. We were in the forest now, across the river. I stared at my bag on the ground, the multiple bloody tissues surrounding it. "Did I.. Bleed?" He turned his head towards me, confused. "There was blood around your mouth, but no cuts or openings, it was probably from the dry throat." He looked away, cleaning the armor piece in his hand. "We can talk now, you know." He sighed. "Alright." 

He set his things down and sat down on the ground next to me. "So, why do you want to run away so bad? You seemed desperate." I hung my head, looking at the morning sky. "Everything. My parents treated me like I was a child, even the maids found ways to annoy me. According to them, i'm a 'murderer' even though..." I paused. 

Did I? I didn't drop her, but I didn't hold her either. I wasn't in my right mind.

I breathed in the warm air and continued. "I was supposed to get married soon. I didn't want to, I was going to be forced. Good thing you killed my man!" He looked at me, passionately. "If you don't mind me asking, how'd you get those scars?" I looked at my legs, the small marks were running up my skin, being cut off by my pants. "The same man I was going to get married to." I laughed, but he just stared off into the forest. "What about you?" He scratched his neck. "Mind if I vent a little? As long as you're okay with that." I smiled, nodding. It might feel nice to hear about others stories for once, he seems to be in a similar situation. 

"There was this guy.. I met him once when I was visiting the forest in-between our kingdoms. We chatted, and we ended up meeting up around once a week in the forest, in the same area. At first, we were just friends. And then, feelings evolved." I stared at him, he seemed familiar. 

"S- He. Told me that he was genetically a girl. I accepted him, and as we grew older, so did our feelings. One day, he came rushing to the woods, waiting for me. He was pregnant, and it was my child." I paused, putting it all together. "What was his name?" He gave me a confused look. "I.." I couldn't wait, I was starting to get ticked off. "What was his name." 

"Silver." I turned away at the thought of him. "Did you know him?" I looked down. "I'm the one that killed his child. I.." The tears came out, it didn't matter how much I resisted. "You.. Is he okay? He's still... right?" The last part came out as a mumble, but I could still understand. "He killed himself on his birthday, they all blamed me." 

"I can't believe he would do that.. and you killed h- my child?" I nodded, letting the tears come out. "Why did you leave him? He wouldn't do anything after you stopped going to the forest. He would barely eat."

"After he told me, I wanted to spend some time thinking about everything, and they locked up the forest. Told me not to go in there." I couldn't believe I was sitting next to the father of the child I killed. It made me feel terrible. "What was its name?" I had to think. I hadn't used her name in a long time, I found it disrespectful. "Kleo." 

"A girl, I imagine?" I nodded, wiping away the tears. "I'm sorry.."

"And now i'm sitting next to the woman who killed my child. What a joke." He sat up, grabbing me by the neck. He was mad. Mad that he found out too late, mad that he didn't even know the name of his own child. Mad at life. My throat tightened, forcing me to cough. A speck of blood hit his hand, and he let go. I continued coughing until my throat burned. "Are you sick or something?" He was acting like he didn't try to strangle me a few seconds ago.