𝐤𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞

に

The steps leading down to the ground floor creaked softly under my weight as I left my bedroom the next morning. Through a window, I could see the sun rising on the horizon and everything getting coloured into a warm orange.

I felt as if I had been run over by a horse-drawn carriage. All night I had turned from side to side, not able to forget Grell's words. Deep within me, the Shinigami longed to take hold of the scythe and take care of a few souls, but I had successfully suppressed that urge for a long time and had no intention of giving in to it for my protégé.

Shaking my head, I trotted to my small kitchen and put on new tea water. As it warmed up, I opened the small window and pulled my robe tighter around me as the lukewarm morning air touched me. From afar I could hear a few birds chirping, so a small smile layed on my lips. This was definitely the best way to start a new day.

The ready-heated water caught my attention and I made my tea before I sat down at my small kitchen table and pulled the cookie jar over to me.

Three sips of tea, one biscuit. Looking out of the window. Repeat.

After I finished my breakfast, I closed the cookie jar and put it back in its original place before I cleaned up my cup and went upstairs again.

There I closed the open window and began to shake out my blanket and placed it neatly on my bed.

If I had been told years ago that as a Shinigami, who needed sleep in themselves but could get by with a few hours, I would have laughed at them and would have asked if they had been in a coffin for too long. But times could change so quickly. Here I was now, living the infinite life of a Shinigami in the human world, far removed from those who were still close to my heart.

My eyes glided to my bedside table.

Carefully I opened its drawer and took out the little box that was inside. I sat down on my bed and gently lifted the lid off.

There wasn't much in that box. My death list, on it a ruby-red lace cloth, a dried and pressed forget-me-not, and a small bundle of letters, which were once sealed with a seal showing a pair of scissors. I smiled. These things, besides my sense, were the only items I had taken with me when I left Shinigami Academy.

I smiled as I gently looked through it. Grell, Ronald and William, the only ones I had left. They were my family and I would do anything to keep them safe.

My thoughts went back to the Campania. There was only one way that so many people could die. The ship had to sink. Ideally at night, since the salt water would then be so cold that you could not survive in it for long. But why would it drown?

I bit my lips. Ronald and Grell were experienced and well-trained Shinigami - I had made sure of that when I trained them. But what if something was going to happen that I hadn't prepared them for?

I shook my head.

"They're old enough!" I scolded myself and wanted to close the box when something else struck my eye.

Furrowing my brows, I took out my death list and flipped through it. Even more names were added. And they would all die in the same place: on the Campania.

I got up. How did that happen?

I shook my head and threw the list on the bed. I overreacted. It was probably the same names as yesterday and I was imagining it all. My thoughts and concerns about Grell and Ronald were playing tricks on me. Right?

Again I left my bedroom and hurried down the stairs, as if I could banish the thoughts of the Campania from my head and lock it up there.

But it was senseless.

Because when I stepped into my small living room, the first thing that landed on my gaze was nothing less than my sense, still in the shape of a walking stick.

I looked at it confused. How did it get here? Wasn't it in the foyer in the umbrella stand?
As I approached, I noticed the small pink note next to the scythe.

Please, Mum-Novalee.

There was only one person who called me that.

"Damn you, Grell Sutcliff!" I growled, before rushing up to my room again. There I opened my wardrobe and took out a box, which had been locked on its floor for years, and placed it on my bed. Thick dust flies swirled up, which made me sneeze.

With trembling hands, I opened the box. A feeling of excitement and nervousness ran through me as I looked down on my clothes that I had worn as an active Shinigami.

Less than ten minutes later I was standing in the foyer of my little house. All the windows were locked, all the cookies I had in stock were in a small bag in my coat.

"You can do it, Novalee!" I whispered to myself and looked into the small mirror. A Shinigami with dull, almost human-like green eyes looked towards me. Unlike the other Shinigami, I didn't wear glasses. Like any Shinigami, I was prone to short-sightedness, but many years ago I had begun to make friends with a life without glasses and found myself doing well without them. Especially since I had often been underestimated by demons and angels and had been able to use that as an advantage. I didn't care about being called a renegade behind my back - I was used to it.

My eyes glided over my black clothes - consisting of a black blouse and black comfortable trousers - which only seemed a little more friendly because of a white corset - over the tall black boots, the black coat, which snug from the shoulders to the waist to my body and then widened and ended above the knees. In my left hand I held my walking stick. On the index finger of that hand my gaze stopped. The small silver ring with the emerald clutched to the finger as if it had always been there. A gift and at the same time a symbol, which reminded me not to put my trust and affection in too many beings, if I didn't want to get hurt again.

A tear escaped the corner of my eye when the image of how I had lost everything in a single moment appeared before my inner eye. I was unwilling, even after all these years, to allow that feeling again.

It was only after Grell, Ronald and William came to the academy that I had learned to let Shinigami back into my life and that was the best decision I could have made at that moment.

If I hadn't met them, who knows if I'd still be here today.