Long Ago and Far Away

03

Rhodey told the same story he told Tony and Thor to a group of people at the party. "I fly it right up to the General's palace, I drop it at his feet, I'm like, "Boom! You looking for this?" The group laughed.

---

Steve and Thor were talking to an elderly man at the party.

"I gotta have some of that!" the man said.

"Oh, no, no, no," Thor argued. "See this, this was aged for a thousand years, in the barrels built from the wreck of Grunhel's fleet, it was not meant for mortal men." He poured the drink into three glasses and handed one to Steve.

"Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on."

"All right." He poured some of the drink into Stan Lee's glass; later Stan, looking extremely drunk, was being carried off by two men.

Stan Lee sang, "Excelsior."

Natasha was pouring a drink behind the bar when Bruce walked up to her and asked, "How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?"

"Fella done me wrong," Natasha replied.

"You got a lousy taste in men, kid."

"He's not so bad. Well, he has a temper. Deep down he's all fluff. Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters. And here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win."

"Sounds amazing."

"He's also a huge dork." Bruce looked embarrassed. "Chicks dig that. So what do you think should I fight this, or run with it?"

"Run with it, right? Or, did he... Was he...? What did he do that was so wrong to you?"

"Not a damn thing. But never say never." She walked away and Steve approached.

"It's nice," Steve complimented.

"What, what, what is?" Bruce asked.

"You and Romanoff."

"No, we haven't. That wasn't..."

"It's okay. Nobody's breaking any by-laws. It's just, she's not the most... open person in the world. But with you she seems very relaxed."

"No, Natasha, she... she likes to flirt."

"I've seen her flirt, up close. This ain't that. Look, as maybe the world's leading authority on "waiting too long", or the possibility of almost waiting too long; don't. You both deserve a win." He walked off.

Louise was sitting by herself and Steve walked up to her and asked, "You all right?"

"I feel like everyone is staring at me," she admitted softly. "Like they're judging me for what I did."

"They are looking at you, but that's only because you were under HYDRA's control for years. You're free now, Lu. You don't have to worry; no one's staring at you right now."

"But you are." She paused. "That sounded silly."

"In your mind. Can you blame me? I could never get tired of looking at you."

She moved closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

LATER

Most of the guests had left and it was just the Avengers, plus Dr. Cho, Louise and Hill sitting around. Thor's hammer sat on the table between them.

Clint, referring to Thor's hammer, exclaimed, "But it's a trick!"

"Oh, no. It's much more than that," Thor replied.

"Uh, "Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!" Whatever man! It's a trick."

"Well please, be my guest."

"Come on," Tony said.

"Really?" Clint asked.

"Yeah!" Thor cried.

Clint got up and Rhodey said, "Oh, this is gonna be beautiful."

"Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up," Tony teased and the others laughed.

"You know I've seen this before, right?" Clint shot back. He grabbed Thor's hammer and couldn't lift it. He said to Thor, "I still don't know how you do it."

"Smell the silent judgment?"

"Please, Stark, by all means."

Tony stood and Natasha muttered, "Oh, here we go."

"Okay," Hill and Louise stated.

"Uh-oh," Rhodey said.

"Um-hmm," Clint hummed.

"Never one to shrink from an honest challenge," Tony told them.

"Get after it."

"Here we go," Natasha said.

"It's physics," Tony reasoned.

"Physics!" Bruce repeated.

Tony grasped Thor's hammer and questioned, "Right, so if I lift it, I... I then rule Asgard?"

"Yes, of course," Thor replied.

"I will be re-instituting Prima Nocta." He tried to lift the hammer but failed. "I'll be right back." Wearing his armored hand, he tried to lift the hammer again.

Both wearing their armored hands, Tony and Rhodey tried to lift Thor's hammer together.

"Are you even pulling?" Rhodey asked.

"Are you on my team?" Tony retorted.

"Just represent! Pull!"

"All right, let's go!" They both pulled as hard as they could.

Bruce tried to lift the hammer; he roared as though pretending to change into the Hulk, and everyone either looked at him warily or grinned.

"Huh?" Bruce wondered.

Steve got up to try and Tony said, "Let's go, Steve, no pressure."

"Come on, Cap," Rhodey added.

Steve started pulling on the hammer and managed to budge it a little; Thor looked a little alarmed. Steve failed to lift it and Thor laughed with relief.

Louise was looking at Steve with wide eyes with a soft smile.

"Nothing," Thor said.

"And?" Tony pressed.

"Widow? Louise?" Bruce asked.

"Oh, no no," Natasha replied. "That's not a question I need answered."

Louise shook her head. "No, that's all right."

"All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged," Tony said.

"You bet your ass," Clint added.

"Steve, he said a bad language word," Hill tattled.

A small smile crossed Louise's face at the tattling.

Steve turned to Tony and asked, "Did you tell everyone about that?"

Tony questioned, "The handle's imprinted, right? Like a security cod. "Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation?"

"Yes, well that's, uh, a very, very interesting theory," Thor replied. "I have a simpler one." He got up, then lifted his hammer and flipped it. "You're all not worthy." There was a chorus of disagreement from the others.

There was a loud screeching noise, like microphone feedback, causing everyone to cover their ears. They let their hands down as it faded, and Tony pulled out his device. One of the Iron Legion suits, heavily damaged and housing Ultron's consciousness, stumbled into the room.