Coming Undone

Denial

Eden's POV

I had thought about bringing Hermione inside with me, but instead, I asked her to stay by the library doors. I can protect myself, but it eases my nerves to know my best friend is out there keeping an ear out for me.

As a chill creeps under my skin, I hear muffled voices at the front. I assume that's Hermione warning Malfoy not to pull anything with me. I love her so much.

"Hey, Hargreaves. You're here." Malfoy awkwardly makes his way down the hall to meet me, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He changed into an all black suit. Rather fancy for a simple conversation. But I suppose he's always putting way too much effort into his appearance, can't let anyone think he's less than perfect can he.

"Am I? I thought I was playing fetch with my pet rock." I fold my arms across my chest, leaning my hip against the end of a grand table.

"Always the wittiest with comebacks." He smiles to himself, speaking with an eerily soft tone. For just a few steps, he keeps his eyes cast down, but when he reaches me, his slate eyes gaze into mine.

It's unsettling how captivating his eyes are. At this distance, I can see how blown his pupils are, almost displacing the entirety of his irises. They sparkle with the soft glow of the candlelight chandeliers, complimenting the warmth the rest of his image is graced with.

Usually, he has a commanding presence, ruling the very air around him, controlling the intensity at which the fire in the room burns. But now, now he seems controlled by the room. Small, meek, powerless.

Contrary to what I'm sure anyone else would do, I'm careful not to make myself look more powerful. Rather, I keep my position relaxed. I don't sense a threat, but to remind him I'm not weak, my posture remains almost rigid, arms tightly folded in front of me.

"So, what did you want?"

He pauses, eyes darting to anywhere but my face, frame hitting the end of a bookshelf.

"Well- I wanted to, explain." His face twists slightly, clearly nervous.

"Explain what?"

"My behavior."

"Alright? So explain."

"Well- you see- I- I know you hate me, and honestly, you have every reason to," I'm reminded of the moment his scent hit my nose from that pot of amortentia. "But- and I've never said this to anyone, it even took me a while to admit it to myself. I'm- really not sure how to say this."

"Oh just spit it out Malfoy." His eyes meet mine at that, and it's only now that I notice how tired they look. Not a physical exhaustion, but a psychological one. Good lord, what is it that's been haunting him? I know his father holds him to a very high standard, but this doesn't look like anything Lucius could do.

"I- I think I like you, Eden."

My heart stops for a beat.

"You think?"

He sighs, gathering himself and straightening his frame, hanging his trembling hands at his sides.

"I know. I've known it from the moment I saw you up on that stool, waiting to be sorted into a house. Even my blind hatred for Potter took a backseat when I saw you. All those years, being especially hateful towards you, all just an excuse to be near you. Your very presence is alluring, not to mention how beautiful you are. The way your eyes sparkle when you smile, the way your hair falls perfectly into place, the way you walk with such graceful strides. And Merlin don't get me started on how absolutely brilliant you are. I know how smart Hermione is. How revered she is for being the "brightest witch of her age," but she doesn't hold a candle to not only your intelligence, but your wisdom. Your heart. You are honestly the most cunning, wise, beautiful, ethereal, captivating being I've ever met, and I'd be a fool to not ask you to be mine, especially since soon we'll be graduated, and I might never see you again." His heavy sigh and dramatic drop of his arms forces a laugh out of me. His face lifts from worry at the sound.

"Um, Malfoy... you hardly know me. I'm, flattered, really I am, but- I mean, you hate my friends, you've always treated them so horribly. Even if I felt the same, even if you actually liked me, I can't just forget everything you've done. Besides, you don't like me, because you don't know me."

"But-."

"Go eat Malfoy, you look like a walking skeleton." With that, I go to leave, stopping next to him to pat his shoulder, and offering him a remorseful smile.

***

I hardly eat during lunch, only sparing a few nibbles on a greasy chicken leg.

"What's wrong Eden?" Ron asks through a mouthful of his own chicken. "Also, where were you two?"

"E?" Hermione asks, curious if I'm willing to answer.

I'm honestly not sure what I would say. I know what I smelled in that potion, but... it can't be. He's horrible, vile, a spiteful snake. I don't care how nice he is now, he's caused nothing but headaches for me and my friends; me especially.

All the hateful comments, all the books enchanted to blur every word I try to read, all the spells so I can only say "Malfoy" when I try to say "and." The harassment over the years, it wasn't written into my history with a pencil, it was engraved into the bedrock of my life here at Hogwarts. He's better at haunting me than the ghosts themselves.

"The library." I leave it at that, stuffing my face with the rest of my chicken wing.

The grease drips down the sides of my face just in time for me to see Malfoy walking in, making eye contact with me. He stops not far from his table, chuckling at my messy appearance. I hastily clean my face, but when I look back up, he's already sitting, making his plate to eat.

"Good- fuck." I mutter, shaking my head at the table.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Ron asks, mouth again stuffed with food.

"Bug off Ron! If she doesn't want to say, stop asking." This time it's Harry to scold the redhead.

"Sorry, Eden."

I swallow thickly, "It's okay Ron, I don't mind. Honestly I'm not sure what that was, or what the hell is happening. Malfoy is just being- so weird. So very weird. That's all."

***

"Why would he say all that to you?" Hermione asks across a stack of books sitting on a grand table.

After classes, I asked if she'd like to study in the library with me. We took seats against the window, facing each other, and since we arrived, I haven't touched a single book. Rather, my gaze has been fixed on the setting sun.

"I dunno. But it can't be true, can it? He's been harassing me—and you lot—for the past six years. Relentlessly haunting us. I- even if he's not lying, even if I actually did like him back, I'd never date him, not after everything he's put you and Ron and Harry through. The things he's called you, the absolute atrocities he's committed against you lot—fuck that."

"Eden, the way he looks at you? I see it. I see it when you don't. I hate him, I truly do, he's foul, but... if he's telling the truth about all this, I'm willing to give him a shot if you are." Hermione's eyes are soft, understanding, almost pleading.

Merlin- it's Malfoy! Malfoy! Why is this supported!?

"I'm not. Because he's lying. I'm sure of it."

"All right. So, what are we studying?" She asks excitedly, a grin spread across her face as she displays books for each subject we're both taking classes in.

"Herbology, we have a quiz coming up."

"Brilliant." And with that, she's off to collect more Herbology books. I'd match her energy if I hadn't been thinking about Malfoy's confession all day and how absurd it is.

It's absurd. And a lie.

Right?

~~~

1364 words