Coming Undone

Haha you thought

Draco's POV

I wait patiently throughout the day, lingering around the Great Hall in case Eden needs to find me. I hold onto hope, but the voice in the back of my head is screaming at me that there's no point in waiting for her in case she needs me, because she won't need me, she's never needed me and she never will.

The voice shouts overly discouraging rebuttals against my blind optimism; "She doesn't love you," "She hates you. She always has, she always will," "She's better off without you," "You'll just drag her down," "You're useless in her life, a rusty anchor, a cancer to her endeavors," "You have no value in her life," "Stop trying," "Stop hoping," "Stop."

But all that fades away when I catch sight of her coming in through the doors to the Great Hall as dinner is minutes away from being served. She saunters in, as if in her own little world, mindlessly making her way to the Gryffindor table to wait for her friends.

I take a seat at my own table, facing her, but she faces away from me, hiding those beautiful eyes of hers, depriving me of the chance to see her charming smile.

Blasphemy.

At least her table is close enough I can hear her heavenly laugh, which bubbles from her throat soon into the meal.

But it stops just as soon as it started as I notice Potter and Granger bowing their heads to Eden in a whisper.

Fuck, I've been staring.

I make haste to direct my attention to my very interesting plate of mashed potatoes and peppered green beans. I don't pick my head back up until Blaise leans toward me and speaks so low I almost don't hear him.

"Why's the Hargreaves chick looking at you so much?"

"Beats me." I mutter, tossing around the lightly seasoned mush.

That answer is all he needed to bug off and finish his overflowing plate of food. Merlin, that man eats more than Weasley. Metabolism truly is a blessing.

***

I hold onto hope, desperately grasping at a lifeline that's not actually there, and it's only when I finally drift off to my dorm, that I sink. The realization she doesn't want me hits me like a ton of bricks, almost enough to knock me out to sleep the second my head hits the pillow. But no, I toss and turn for what feels like hours, and before I know it, the sunlight is rising through the foggy windows.

The rest of my House is fast asleep as I wipe the sleep from my eyes, and dress myself in more comfortable—and less embellished—clothing.

It's only half an hour into my wandering that I enter greenhouse three and find Eden mindlessly fingering a baby mandrake's leaves.

"Hey." She doesn't spare a single glance to me, keeping her head smooshed against her hand as it's the only thing keeping it up.

"Hey. Why up so early?"

"The sun's up, it's not early."

"The sun isn't quite up, it's just under the horizon. The sunlight is, in a sense, up, though, I'll give you that."

"Oh shut up Malfoy." She shakes her head, fluttering her eyes closed for a moment but returning them to the leaves between her delicate fingers. I uproot myself from the end of the table, carefully making my way to her side.

I'm mindful to give her space, but I'm close enough to easily see the top of her head. I can see the easy rise and fall of her chest, the slight definition of her spine as it hunches off to the right, and the bones in her hand pushing against her skin as she fiddles with another leaf.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I've decided anything yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm waiting for you to say something first. It's unfair to rush you, and if I were to ask, it would be perceived as rushing." She finally lifts her head at that, staring at me with pinched eyebrows.

"Since when do you care about that kind of stuff?"

"What? Caring whether you're comfortable or not? Six years ago."

"Malfoy you're making this harder than I'd like it to be."

"Well it's not an easy decision. I did put you in a difficult spot."

"Why?"

"Because I want you."

"But why?" I almost laugh at her childish repetition of the question.

"I told you why."

"But why?"

"I don't think I understand."

"Why me?"

"Every reason I've already given you is what sets you apart from everyone else."

"So you want me because I'm unlike everyone else?"

"Because you're better than everyone else."

"I'm no better than the next Ravenclaw- or Slytherin. Why don't you go look for a pretty viper? Snakes don't eat snakes. Ravens do, though. I'd eat you alive, Malfoy. You don't want me."

"Prove it."

"Pardon?"

"Prove you'd eat me alive, prove you're no good for me, prove I don't want you."

"I don't need to, I just am."

"Eden that's not a good reason."

"Well it's a reason, and that's enough."

"Not for me."

"Well too bad. It's the best you're getting."

"Then you have no good reason not to be with me. You said you smelled me in the amortentia, you said you love me, albeit against your desires, but you do, you admitted it. And I know you do, I see the way you look at me. You think I don't notice because I'm not looking, but I notice," also because my classmates tell me she's staring, with a lot more venom on their voices than I care to let them get away with. I clench fists in my pockets as I go on, "I love you, Eden. I don't need amortentia to tell me that, I've known it since the moment I saw you. I won't press any further, but please give me one good reason why you shouldn't be with me."

She's silent for a moment, letting her eyes wander in consideration.

"Just because I love you, does not mean I have to be with you. There is no reason I shouldn't be with you, but there are a plethora of reasons I won't be with you. Please leave."

"Eden-."

"Leave."

I whisper a barely audible "okay," and leave, wasting no time lingering as if she'll change her mind.

Well... that went well.

~~~

1069 words