i sit at my grandmothers house
she shows me her makeup
she opens the drawer and i see it
the razor
its probably for cutting her pills but its there,
shimmering in the light
temptation
ive gone a few weeks without cutting
i convince myself to not cut
➖➖➖
the next day my grandmother sits on the couch with me,
smoking her thin menthols
she places the half smoked cigarette down on the ash tray after putting it out
she goes outside to walk the dog
i stare at the cigarette
thin grey smoke rising from the end
she wont notice if i smoke one
it smells like smoke in here anyways
i pick up the cigarette and put it in my mouth
i missed the feeling
the lighter is so close
i shouldnt do it
temptation
i light up
temptation
take a few puffs
temptation
its been so long
