Shards

Chapter 5

please comment your opinions on this chapter! I'm not so sure abt it yet and might change it if I ever get better at writing these sorts of scenes :)

This time, I am the predator, not the prey. 

My laser-sharp gaze finds Jamie in the main room, chatting idly with a guy not too much older than him. It pins him down, a red dot shining on his forehead like a spotlight, and follows him as he accompanies me to one of the adjacent rooms, under the false pretense that I have something to ask him about. 

I abandon my recently-squeaking walker against the wall of the empty room, sitting down with my back against the wall, gesturing for Jamie to join me. 

"Do you play football?" I ask, our shoulders brushing as he takes his seat. 

As a girl who identifies as pretty, I have done this before, and yet nerves still crawl up into my throat, threatening suffocation if I lose my focus. 

So I don't. I smile and shift my weight so I'm leaning just slightly towards Jamie until the sides of our torsos are touching, too. He is wearing clothes he found in these tunnels: sweatpants and a red t-shirt. His hair has greased from lack of washing, but then again, so has mine, despite my valiant efforts of not touching it and keeping it up as often as possible. 

"Was that your important question?" smirks Jamie, a slight pink creeping across his cheeks, noticeable only because I am looking for it. 

"Maybe," I respond. 

"Well, I do," he says. "I played fullback for my school's team."

"What's that?" I ask, eyes wide, head tilted down just a little bit so I'm looking up at him, through eyelashes barely holding on to the last bits of my mascara. 

"It's just a football position," he says, moving on quick, as if he can't wait to get to other topics. I let the slight insult go. "Really, though, Sadie, why'd you bring me here? It can't be about my football career."

I hesitate, just for a second, and Jamie takes that as a response. "I thought you hated me. Do you hate me?"

"No!" I exclaim, leaning a little bit more on the wall, moving my gaze over to Jamie, letting it roam his pockets, the darkness obscuring my plans. "I don't like hating people. It just feels so... negative. And, out of all people, I wouldn't hate you."

The lies spill from my lips like sweet honey. I know Jamie will want to believe them, and so he will. It doesn't matter how obvious it is that they are very plainly untrue.

I accompany this sweet comment with a smile that Jamie returns. 

"I'm glad," he says. "I don't hate you either. The... opposite, actually."

I let my body relax and lean on him, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. He is tense but unwinds after a second, one arm twisting around my shoulders and pulling me comfortably close. 

"I'm glad, too," I say, tone quieter now, the atmosphere calm. "That you're here. That it's you, and not anyone else."

My comment might be going a bit overboard, and for a second I don't think Jamie will fall for it, but then he exhales a contented breath of air, and I feel his head nod against my forehead. "You're a wonderful person, Sadie, did you know that?"

A small ache, on the left side of my chest, that I ignore. "So are you," I say, and let my hand fall limp, coincidentally landing on the pocket of the sweatpants he has donned today. 

There is a small lump inside, and my heartbeat races, because oh my god, I've found it. 

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