"I think that one sounds pretty good." Stevie's voice was soft, a gentle smile on her face as the sound of his new melody flowed through the studio.
They had been down there since eight that morning- after they'd eaten breakfast, and gotten their kids out the door for school on time, which was an accomplishment in itself.
She didn't usually hang out during the day, but after he'd disappeared, the house felt incredibly quiet. So within just a couple of minutes, she was following behind with a cup of coffee and her listening ears turned on.
He smirked, sitting in the swivel chair as he spun around in a small circle. "Did you end up getting back to sleep?" Lindsey leaned forward, setting his guitar down to give her all his attention.
There was something about the way she was watching that let him know that she was more interested in talking... Her mind was working fast, it was obvious.
Shifting softly on the couch, she cradled her cup of coffee close to her lips. "No." She admitted with a faint chuckle. "I just tossed and turned, until I got up to make breakfast." She shrugged, tired brown eyes looking right into his blue ones.
She had been having weird dreams, so after she was pulled out of one abruptly, she was a little worried to fall back to sleep.
Nodding lightly, he couldn't help but sigh. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Lindsey had been at a loss for words in the last couple of weeks, only because life had been happening awfully fast for them.
So much was going on and sometimes he didn't know how to help her. He didn't know what he could say, or do to make it hurt a little less and honestly, he wasn't sure it was even possible to do so.
When things like that occur, there is no guidebook that tells you how you're supposed to move forward, even though it would be a lot easier if there were.
"Crosby is going to sneak out and I'm sure, the other boys will eventually do the same." Stevie figured that's what he meant, only because they really hadn't talked about the other stuff that had been weighing heavy. "How many times did you get caught sneaking in by my father?" She reminded him, still grinning lightly.
He laughed a little, shaking his head softly. "I don't remember that." Lindsey teased as his elbows fell on his thighs and he stared over at her intently.
There had always been something a little extra beautiful about her that early in the morning...
She rolled her eyes playfully, taking a sip of her drink before she replied. "We'll make it through this." She assured.... they always had. "And one day, when they're all grown up and we're all alone, we really will laugh." She believed that, because that's how it was.
Life moves too fast to dwell on things that are inevitable. The kids are going to grow up, they're going to be rebellious and stubborn, but you will still love them... They're still your kids, even if they're mean and disrespectful at times.
It's part of life. Whether we like it or not, humans have a tendency to feel entitled and their boys were no different.
He nodded in agreement, biting down on the inside of his cheek. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to talk about the other thing..." he lingered in the most sensitive, gentle tone of voice that he could conjure up.
It usually wasn't that hard for him to make conversation with her, but there was something incredibly heartbreaking about the situation they'd found themselves in...
"I know it isn't easy, but I have to make sure that you're okay, baby." Lindsey could be soft when he wanted to be, which didn't happen often, but definitely when it was needed... and always with her.
Creasing a brow, she glanced down to stare at the plaid blanket in her lap. "I'm feeling a little bit better." She mentioned, referring back to the recent complaining of headaches and nausea... Not from the morning sickness, either.
"I'm glad you're feeling okay." He assured, eyes scanning over her face. "But are you doing okay?" He rephrased as he watched her immediately begin to bite down on her lower lip out of built up nerves...
She couldn't get away with much of anything with him, not after that many years of marriage.
Stevie grew quiet for a moment, shifting on the leather couch once more as she tried to find a way to tell him what she was wanting... what she was feeling. "I feel like something's missing, Lindsey." She announced, which was an incredibly new emotion for her- something that she had never really felt before. "I wasn't prepared for another baby when I found out I was pregnant," she admitted, even though they were both well aware of that. "And then, all of a sudden, it was ripped away from me." Her voice cracked as the tears started to blur her vision in a split second, and without much warning.
She had been doing an awful lot of crying and though it seemed overwhelming, it still really hurt...
"I am so sorry, Steph." He wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say, but he had to tell her... He wanted her to know.
She cracked a sad smile, eyes still weak. "I'm sorry, too." She reached out with one hand, letting in fall on his knee as she slid forward to be on the edge of the cushion. "And I am so thankful that I have you..." Stevie couldn't keep her tears at bay, even though she had really tried to.
He took her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss her knuckles as his eyes stayed locked with hers. "You are my everything." Lindsey really didn't know how to reply, but that seemed most fitting... most important.
Nodding her head, she paused for a short moment to decide if she really wanted to ask or not.... "Can we have another baby?" Stevie whispered it in a shy, very small tone.
She didn't get anxious often, especially not around him, but that was big. She wasn't asking for him to stop and get her a coffee on his way home... she was asking him to devote another eighteen years of his life to raising a child with her.
He creased a brow, knowing how serious she was by the look on her sweet face. "Steph..." Lindsey didn't mean to sigh, but he did.
Even though they had already had three children, the thought of welcoming another into the uncertain world around them didn't seem right... Not at the time and though he knew she didn't want to hear that, he couldn't agree.
"I don't know if that's the right thing for us right now."
