Fighting Bleeding Losing | Yeongyu / Beomjun

-39-

Beomgyu

It, in fact, wasn't a dream. San and Wooyoung were here, passionately kissing, and Beomgyu wasn't the only one who noticed their strange behavior. "What the hell..." Yeonjun muttered again under his breath, his hand naturally finding Beomgyu to squeeze it, as if he was looking for comfort.

When they first looked at the two other boys, they were just facing each other, and Yeonjun swore that they would fight again, as usual. They didn't. Now, they're kissing under Yeonjun and Beomgyu's surprised sights. They wanted to give them privacy, to stop looking at them, but they couldn't. Their eyes couldn't move.

Both guys were fighting for dominance, and San obviously won. Wooyoung, who was ô so manly and proud suddenly was at San's mercy. They really should stop watching.

San's hand gently squeezed Wooyoung's waist as the smaller guy's arms were around his neck, trying to bring him even closer. They really should stop watching.

Wooyoung was on his tippy toes to be at the same level as San, yet he couldn't take control, he just looked oddly small under San's touch. They really should stop watching.

The older guy bit Wooyoung's lips, making him back away a little before passionately kissing San again. They really should stop wa-

"Yeah, anyways, what were we talking about ?" Yeonjun coughed as he started to walk again, in the opposite direction of the two other boys.

"If liking boys makes you gay." Beomgyu replied with an awkward smile, suddenly being quite hyper-aware of Yeonjun's hand holding his sweaty one. "I guess Wooyoung asked the same question." Yeonjun joked, making Beomgyu chuckle.

Then, for minutes that felt like hours for Beomgyu, they quietly walked. The air was awkward and both of them were obviously still thinking about what they just witnessed.

That's only about ten minutes after the silence started that Yeonjun finally decided to speak, saying something along the lines of "Anyways, I promised that I would take you to the beach. Do you want to go now?" To which Beomgyu replied to quick nod.

The journey wasn't long, they had the time to make small talk as Yeonjun was carefully driving. They just talked about what came to their mind. It was just so easy to talk with each other. If felt safe.

"Here's the beach !" Yeonjun announced when he parked his car. "I know it's not idyllic or anything it's the closest beach." He continued. "It's perfect." Beomgyu reassured. The beach was indeed kind of empty, no people could be seen, which was kind of understandable because half of the seashore was made of rocks and the other half was made of weird looking sand decorated by random stuffs people threw, as if the earth was looking like their personal trash.

Again, Yeonjun's grabbed the younger's hand and started to walk closer to the sea. They walked until the water was so close that they had to take off their shoes. When they did, their bare foot were touching the cold water, somewhat bringing peace in their minds.

Beomgyu glanced at their linking hands. It almost looks like a date. The empty beach, the sunset, the hands holding, the sound of Yeonjun deep breathing. It was just so... romantic to Beomgyu.

"Beomgyu ?" Yeonjun called after a few seconds. "Yeah ?" The other simply replied. Then, he heard Yeonjun take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for annoying you with my... sexuality issues when we were at the park together. Just so you know, it's been hard for me since they discharged me from the hospital. I thought that finding work and going to therapy would help me but it's so much harder than that." He paused a few seconds.

"Some evenings, when I was alone, I just couldn't resist, and I drank. I got drunk until I passed out. I'm so sorry about it, I'm genuinely sorry. I talked about it to my therapist and she said that relapse can happen but I just felt so weak at that time."

"But then I thought about you. And I understood that if I couldn't do it for myself I could at least do it for you. I don't think you realize how important you are for me, Beommie."

"I'm sober now. Since one month. I know it sounds ridiculous but I'm proud. For one full month I could have normal thoughts, not intoxicated ones and I noticed some things. I noticed how sweet you are, how you never let me down, how I made your life a living hell." Yeonjun turned around so he could face Beomgyu.

"I noticed how strong you are and how you deserve the world. I noticed how you're always so kind with everyone even though you got hurt so many times. I noticed how you're so beautiful from both the inside and the outside." He let go of Beomgyu's fingers to nervously play with his own.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for everything. I apologize for my weird behavior back then and for being possessive even though you weren't mine. Forgive me for playing with your heart, not taking your traumas seriously, and for every violent act I had when you were here, physically or mentally. I'm sorry cheating on you with a person I don't even know, I'm sorry for being an asshole who never considered your feelings. I'm so, so, so sorry for trying to leave this world when I should've faced my wrongs instead."

Beomgyu felt his nose sting, his throat tightening, and his eyes welling up with tears. "Hyung, obviously I forgive y-"He started only to be interrupted by the older. "Wait, I'm not finished."

"I also wanted to thank you for supporting me and never judging me. I'm so grateful you visited me at the hospital and kept on believing in me. Thank you, Beommie. You deserve so much better." After that, Yeonjun slightly coughed.

"Also... Hum... I guess I always knew it, but it became clearer when I saw Wooyoung and San, but I have feelings for you. I know it's sudden, and I promised you to be just friends, but I just can't help it. It's just that you bring so much happiness in my life, and you're so beautiful, and you always make my heart beat so fast... Yeah, I think I like you. Actually I know I do. I was just so worried about  what the others would think of me that I never assumed that I genuinely have feelings for a boy, for a man, for you."

"Seeing my best friend that I thought was homophobic kissing a boy earlier just made me realize that if he's really my friend he won't judge me, like I didn't judge him, like Taehyun would never judge me. It just made me realize that my feelings for you are strong. But I understand if you don't want me back, I know that I wasn't always sweet with you. I don't ask you to reciprocate my feelings, just to acknowledge it. Anyways, you deserve someone better like Changmin or-" Before Yeonjun could finish his sentence, sweet lips touched his own followed my a whisper of something like

"Are you dumb?"

☆ ⸺ 🎸🛹 !

IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE I HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING I'M SO SORRY YALL !!!!
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME AND MY CRINGE ASS STORY I LOVE Y'ALL SO FUCKING MUCH !!!!!
ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT 🫶🏻🫶🏻