Life in Paintings

Chapter 57 - Through the Window

Chapter 57 – Through the Window

I open my eyes to a familiar setting.

I'm back in Tanya's studio.

It feels good to be in a familiar place. To be in my own time. To feel a semblance of reality for a second. Seeing Tanya is always grounding.

But Tanya is not in a good mood today.

I can feel it before I even hear her speak.

She's standing in front of one of her paintings, frowning, looking entirely displeased.

"You're here," she says, not looking my way, her eyes still fixed on the canvas I front of her.

"I'm here," I reply, and go to stand beside her, looking at the same painting. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replies a little too quickly.

Maybe the reason why she seems in a sour mood is only because of the painting, and it's not something to worry about, but somehow, I think there's something more to it.

It feels like something deeper. Something uglier.

And I know Tanya does not have the best grasp on her mental health.

But I also don't know what I'm supposed to do here. Would I be overstepping if I mentioned I'm worried?

Do I have the right to do that? Does Tanya see me as a friend? Or still only a figment of her imagination.

Because, to me she's a friend. One of the very few ones I have.

And I don't want her to be hurt.

"Do you not like this one?" I ask softly, trying to get her to open up.

"It's fine," she simply replies, looking away from it.

Maybe I need to change subject. Maybe that'll help. "So, what did I miss?" I ask, trying to be the right amount of cheerful.

"Nothing," she says again, just as quickly.

I fell... useless.

The problem is that, I don't know her well enough to know what to say to help. What to ask to coax answers out of her.

She knows so much about me, but I know so little of her.

I've been selfish. I've always kind of been selfish, because it's always been just me, so I put myself first, to protect myself. To survive. Even before the curse, even if I had a boyfriend.

I was alone.

And I'll be alone again when I wake up.

Maybe I don't want to wake up...

And maybe I want to be a better friend.

"Have you eaten today?" I ask her.

"Oh, sorry, are you hungry?" she asks, and that more words than she's used so far. But that's also not the right answer.

This isn't about me.

"Don't worry about me. Have you eaten?" I ask again.

She shrugs. "I guess. I ate a toast earlier."

"Do you want to get something to eat?"

She snorts. "Want me to pay for your food?"