Exousia - The Patron Saints of the Damned - Book II

Chapter 19 - The Heart of the Woods

David listened to his friends explain everything had happened since they'd crashed in the pickup truck. They tried to tell Megan everything, but their descriptions came out too vague and rationalized to really convey the seriousness of what was happening in the woods. Then again, maybe they needed to see their situation the way they retold it; it was a survival mechanism. Simplification was always easier than the overcomplication of the unknown … and the truth. And so long as they got them from one day to the next, what difference did understanding matter? What harm was there in his friends blinding themselves to the obvious fact that they were going to die?

Yes, David believed now more than ever that they were going to die. And while he had always thought that understanding the brutal truth of everything was necessary, that was only in the face of ordinary day-to-day life. Trying to understand the mystery at work was not going to help them in these woods. So, he couldn’t blame his friends for trying to simplify the situation as much as they could.

In fact, David had secretly envied their ability to ignore the complexity around them for a while. He'd tried over the course of his life to stop seeing what he did and looked for his own false hope to hold on to. He'd worked to believe in his logic, in his fellow man, and in abstract concepts like love, honor, and beauty. And though these made him feel like his life had a sense of genuine value, it could never distract him entirely from the darker truths of life and death.

In these woods, his existentialist dread was amplified by the same unknown power that had made Jodie become an animal and Brennan to almost run into the woods. Only their simplification and instincts had the potential to save them … whereas his own threatened to take all his will and energy away. Already, his muscles felt weaker and his body lighter. Was this the same melancholic sense of escape that Sam had felt before he'd vanished into the recesses of his own mind? If so … it was tempting to follow him into that place of numbness.   

But David cared about his friends and knew if he went into that state it was because he’d have given up. If anything happened to them while he was like that, their fall would be something he’d blame himself for forever. So, he decided to spend his effort on helping his friends achieve whatever sort of sense and calm that they could. And maybe … if they were right and there was a hope of escape … he could empower them to find it where he could not.

He joined Brennan, who stood at the front of the group. He was staring ahead with bloodshot eyes. He whispered, “I've been thinking … and maybe our only choice is to attack her while we can still make it back to the tower. Even if she kills us, maybe some of the others can get away. We've got rocks. We can hit her quick and hard.”

“There's no point,” David replied, softly. “There's something else out here … we both saw it, and so did Megan.”

“I don't know what I saw,” Brennan said, shaking his head. It looked like he was trying to convince himself that what he was saying was true. “If we all line up and go for her head-”

“Then we'll be vulnerable,” David said, interrupting him. “And whatever made you lose it and attack me will have free range to do what it wants with us. I was unsure before … but now, I really don’t think she’s lying. She wants us out of here as much as we want to be out of here.”

Brennan shook his head several times.

David sighed, breathed deeply, and then said, “Alright, let's just pretend that we're drugged or just crazy from sleep deprivation, even though neither of us believes that. Right now, we have guidance and a goal, so that we can at least put one foot in front of the other. Without that, we'll fall apart.”

Brennan's face wrinkled his cheeks turn pink. Then his bloodshot eyes bulged a bit, he pointed a finger, and said, “You're just scared. Well, guess what? You don't have a sister who might get killed over this. You don't understand.”